Planning...or not?

"The plans of man may fail but the purposes of God prevail"--that's "plastered" on the front of our church wall.  It was my idea to put those words there when I was pastoring to guide us in our ministry.

You would think I'd remember those words.

I guess I'd forgotten...but I have been reminded of them big time in the last few weeks.

I am a planner.  I am a detail guy.  I like to make lists and construct timelines.  I like to be in control.  There. I said it.

Nothing about retirement and transition has worked out the way I planned.  That is not to say, it hasn't gone well.  It is only to say my script needs to be trashed.

The details of what has happened are not important here.  But every financial plan, every housing plan, every work-related plan I have devised has been seriously revised.  Above all else, the whole timing sequence I imagined has been abandoned.  Even now, we are certain only of one thing.  We are uncertain.

Still, we are confident and, at least today, smiling.  God is accomplishing His purpose for us.  I alluded to this  potential reality in a conversation months ago with my wife when I said, having rehearsed my plans--"God may surprise us and do the whole thing differently."

He has.  He is.

We are surprised...but we are not disappointed.

God is faithful.

When relocating, remember...

I am no expert on the subject of relocation; in fact, every step of the process has been instructive for me.  I am learning as I go.  Here's a few observations about the process.

1.  It's hard to be doubly-focused--on what you are moving from and what you are moving towards.  Because both for us are good places to be, we are discovering the need to grieve what we are leaving behind and to focus on what lays ahead.  For example, we are leaving dear friends, a beautiful home and a wonderful church...but we are moving towards family, grandchildren...and the ocean!

2.  It's a challenge to get agreement from your friends and family.  Each one has a vested interest in you and an idea about what might be the best course to follow.  Listen to them--hear their wise counsel--but, in the end, you must ask, "What is best for us?" and "How is God leading us?"  Granted, there is an aire of subjectivity that cannot be ignored, but, truthfully, we want to follow where we sense God is leading.

3.  It's a nightmare to look at the whole picture at once; in fact, it can swallow you up with fear and anxiety.  Yes, a comprehensive view is important but a step-by-step approach makes the process less ominous.  For us, that translates today into this.  We have to sell our house--that's our primary concern. The rest of the issues--packing, garage sales, how to move our stuff, work parties, etc.--those we can address when the time comes.  

4.  It's important to stay on point.  "What's our objective?" "Why did we decide to do this in the first place?"  Sometimes we lose sight of that and overwhelmed by the details, we become inundated with the demands of the process, and forget what motivated us in the first place.  We want to be near some of our grandchildren and more free to visit the others--and we want discretionary time to serve the Lord in a variety of settings in this season of our life.  Hence, our relocation.

5.  It's invigorating to stop and give thanks.  God has been so faithful to us throughout our lives and when we remember that no obstacle before us seems insurmountable.  

If you're pondering relocation, or, like us, are in the process, remember these things that may help you, as they are helping us, walk through a  process that presents some unique challenges.

How we choose our heroes...

I have my favorite sports teams--SF Giants, LA Lakers, SF 49ers.  It's a bad day for me when they lose.

I have some sports' heroes" as well--Warren Spahn (I know, I'm old), Buster Posey, Joe Montana, Jerry Rice, Tiger Woods, Kobe Bryant...I could hear some of you gasping for breath as the list grew longer.

Last weekend Tiger Woods and Kobe Bryant--two of my sports' "heroes"--suffered devastating losses.  Tiger dropped his ball illegally following an errant a shot into the water at the Masters, and Kobe Bryant tore his achilles tendon en route to seeking to lead his team ti the playoffs.  Same day.

Tiger and Kobe are incredible competitors and highly-skilled athletes; in fact, they stand head and shoulders above their peers.  I love to watch them compete.  Beyond the athletic arena, however, they are a disappointment, both of them guilty of well-publicized acts of sexual indiscretion, a sanitized way of identifying their behavior towards women.

Still, I like to watch them. I keep hoping their character will match up with their athletic prowess.  Tiger missed an opportunity to withdraw from the Masters as an honorable man--he was allowed to continue over a technicality---and Kobe tweeted a reaction the early morning after his injury for the world to read that was derogatory and disturbing.  It would have been comforting to hear a monologue about what really matters in life.  Wistful thinking.

So much for my "heroes".

Real heroes have character that outshines their resume of accomplishment and repertoire of skills.  Jackie Robinson and Branch Rickey are two modern-day heroes.  The movie, 42, details three years of their lives during the mid-forties when Rickey determined to integrate professional baseball by signing the young black Robinson to a contract with the then Brooklyn Dodger organization.  The story of their painful journey and forged character in the heat of prejudicial public abuse is ennobling.

I will take men like Rickey and Robinson.  They are heroes for the right reasons.

Choose your "heroes" well.

Enjoying what you do...

Enjoyment seems an illusive state of mind; in fact, it seems almost an oxymoron when considered in the work environment.

In this season of semi-retirement where I have the luxury of some discretion in choosing what I do, I am finding true enjoyment in counseling and coaching.  These have been work-related responsibilities in my long history as a pastor but the context was different.  They were attached to my pastoral role and tended to be primarily crisis-oriented, squeezed into a very busy schedule.  It was typically the traditional "tyranny of the urgent" that set my counseling agenda.

It is different now.  My counseling and coaching is more measured, set in a context of long-term goals for the client, and measurable progress, hopefully, moving towards finding healing and wholeness.  My goal as a counselor-coach is not to elongate the process; rather, it is to wean the client from me and direct them towards the Word of God and their daily relationship with God as a source of continuing refuge and strength.

I am not a simpleton; I understand that my role as a listener and as a director--pointing the client to things they may not see clearly, and more often than not, reminding them of things they already know--can be a critical piece on the road to self-discovery and experiencing the fullness of life God intends.

Yesterday I met with three different clients and the testimonies they shared about how God is working in their lives made me smile within.  They all have continuing needs and ongoing work to do--as we all do--but today I felt true enjoyment in my work.

A new season

Last week was my first real week of semi-retirement since I have been traveling the last few weeks.  It was interesting to observe some inner struggles going on that I am guessing are typical of this kind of transition.

*I found myself falling into former patterns of behavior that were connected to my old job.  I literally had to tell myself, "That is not your responsibility any more..."

*I spent a lot of time day-dreaming, unable to focus on my new responsibilities.  I am now self-employed and responsible only to myself, a startling concept!

*I was lonely, not surrounded by the familiar faces of work.  I am working alone, in between clients, so it is quiet and different than the setting I have worked for the last fifteen years.

None of these things were cause for panic or despair, but they presented some new challenges to me that will be important for this season of work.

1.  I have new responsibilities and I need to embrace these.

2.  I have new disciplines to establish to sharpen my focus.

3.  I have a new environment in which to work and I exercising my creative juices will serve to enhance the setting in which I am working.

It is a new season of life and entering my second week I am reminded that we are always learners--if we choose to be--and that is the challenge to be faced and the opportunity to grow.  I am sixty-five years old and the process continues.  I welcome it.

Do you...?

My current website is down for repairs and I am sorry for the inconvenience.

Meanwhile, my counseling hours have increased and I have several openings for life-coaching and counseling Tuesday through Thursday.  .  I can be contacted at daleabarrett@gmail.com or 209-403-2296.

Coaching and counseling are offered from a Christian biblical perspective.  Sessions are fifty-five minutes in length and $85.00 per session.  Counseling is done at my office located at 270 Hanford Street, Suite B in Sutter Creek, California.

Jesus said, "I have come that you might have life--life to the full..."  John 10:10

Forward to Fullness

I am now offically retired from my forty-five years as a pastor.  To celebrate I am camped in my trailer at Pismo beach, enjoying the serenity of the ocean, and the rest that comes from separation and contemplation.

Here's what I am discovering in week one...

*I am tired...physically, but mostly emotionally.

*I am still connected to the regimen and routine of my old job.

*I am afraid.  How will we make life work?

*I am in the Word--reaffirming the promises of God's Word that I have held out to so many for all of these past years.

*I am grateful for my wife, who is joining the advenure with me.

I am also reading the book, Seven, which presents a challenge to a more simple life.  Today we meet with an architect about reshapg a small house on our son's property where we are considering relocation.  I have been studying Hebrews 12 which reminds me of God's discipline upon the chidlren He loves.  All of this for me is about learning to to with less of what I want and more of what He has in mind for me.

My focal point for life coaching is "Forward to Fullness", the steady pursuit of the fulfillment of God's plan and purpose for my life,  "Finishing well" is my motivation.