As I watched the news yesterday I was disheartened by the burgeoning crisis in the Ukraine, the launch of missiles in North Korea, the new proposal for "three-parented" children (a "not-so subtle" form of eugenics), the bill before the Arizona governor regarding businesses and their responsibilities to gays (it was vetoed, thankfully)...and an unending list of other critical issues threatening to discolor the landscape of our already fragile world.
Mostly, I thought about my twelve grandchildren.
They range in age from six years old--Brady had a birthday yesterday--through seventeen--Sage graduates from high school in 2015. What kind of a world will they inherit?
I felt sad because in the midst of all of this social and global confusion, there are whispers that we are making progress. In the name of tolerance and equality we are redefining traditional marriage; we are coercing participation in a noble but costly plan to provide health insurance for everyone; we are proposing to brutally slash the size of our armed forces in a volatile world climate under the guise of good economics and we are quietly looking the other way while our President--as others before him have done, acts with papal-like authority in executing policy.
Where will it all end?
It is a fragile world, seemingly held together by men--a few good, most not--well-intentioned and traqically flawed. They are in over their heads.
Above them is a sovereign God.
This is His world. He is still in control. And He will be when my grandchildren become adults.
Somehow, that gives me hope.
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Thursday, February 20, 2014
"Don't miss the grace of God..."
Hebrews 12:15 warns us, "See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." (NIV)
I have been thinking about that verse a lot; I have often quoted the second part of the verse about bitterness but rarely remembered the first part--"Don't miss the grace of God!" (Barrett paraphrase).
I discover a high incidence of bitterness in marriage--unprocessed anger that leads to broken or abandoned communication and inevitable bitterness and resentment. Neglecting the first part of this verse is to miss the scriptural antidote to the fertilization of the root of bitterness.
It is "the grace of God"? How so?
1. The "grace of God" is His unmerited favor towards me.
2. God's grace is freely bestowed upon me as His child.
3. I am not to "miss" this grace, or forget and ignore it.
4. Remembering God's grace towards me becomes a springboard for me exercising grace to others.
5. I remember that I am flawed and sinful and God's grace abounds towards me; cannot I extend His grace to my spouse? to my colleague at work? to a rebellious child?
I don;t want to be bitter; I have been and I remember how painful it was. Truly it affected all of my life and the resultant defilement was far-reaching in to other unsuspecting relationships.
"Don't miss God's grace!" The next time you're in conflict--angry, even wounded--remember the grace extended towards you--and extend it freely to another. Bitterness and resentment cannot flourish in a life fertilized with God's grace!
I have been thinking about that verse a lot; I have often quoted the second part of the verse about bitterness but rarely remembered the first part--"Don't miss the grace of God!" (Barrett paraphrase).
I discover a high incidence of bitterness in marriage--unprocessed anger that leads to broken or abandoned communication and inevitable bitterness and resentment. Neglecting the first part of this verse is to miss the scriptural antidote to the fertilization of the root of bitterness.
It is "the grace of God"? How so?
1. The "grace of God" is His unmerited favor towards me.
2. God's grace is freely bestowed upon me as His child.
3. I am not to "miss" this grace, or forget and ignore it.
4. Remembering God's grace towards me becomes a springboard for me exercising grace to others.
5. I remember that I am flawed and sinful and God's grace abounds towards me; cannot I extend His grace to my spouse? to my colleague at work? to a rebellious child?
I don;t want to be bitter; I have been and I remember how painful it was. Truly it affected all of my life and the resultant defilement was far-reaching in to other unsuspecting relationships.
"Don't miss God's grace!" The next time you're in conflict--angry, even wounded--remember the grace extended towards you--and extend it freely to another. Bitterness and resentment cannot flourish in a life fertilized with God's grace!
Thursday, February 6, 2014
Mentoring
It is an interesting season in life having just turned sixty-six. My father died at this age and so i have always wondered whether I would make it. Thankfully, both my twin brother and I celebrated our 66th birthday together last weekend.
What makes the season challenging are the winds of change. They are ever-present as I move from twelve hour work days to two day work weeks with the luxury of discretionary time. Additionally, I no longer punch a clock nor do I scramble to make time for administrative meetings and late night counseling sessions. I am, to a "frightening" degree, in control of my own time schedule.
It's "frightening" because I have an accelerated sense of upward accountability for the usage of my time. There was always that in pastoral ministry but there was also horizontal accountability as I thought about the expectations of my board and of a growing congregation.
Now there is for me a handful of counseling clients, eight grandchildren nearby, a local church and an adult class weekly teaching assignment, and my ongoing ministry "overseeing" a pastoral training institute in Haiti. It's enough.
But I have extra time. And I have an opportunity in these later years, given the presumption that age and experience produce some wisdom worth sharing, an opportunity to mentor. It was brought home to me today at a Bible Study led by my stepson who is a pastor. He was leading a discussion on REAL LIFE DISCIPLESHIP, written by Jim Putman, and discussing people "upstream" and downstream" in his sphere of influence. As a class participant I had completed the assignment asking us to do the same. As he shared his "upstream"--those to whom he looks for wisdom and counsel--my name was there.
I was startled. I had listed his name, given our weekly family and church interaction, as in my "upstream". We laughed about it later.
I love mentoring. It isn't that I have it all figured out. But I have learned some things--many of them through the rigors of personal experience--that are worth sharing with others, if for no other reason than to help theme escape some of the painful learning process to which most of us fall prey.
In the last few weeks I've mentored someone who is recovering from painful experiences in church leadership; another has been talking to me about a ministry idea and we have rehearsed some of the "pro's" and con's". Ina ll of these situations, and more, I am smiling at the memory of lessons learned and the opportunity to share them with others who come to me...probably because I am old. Probably because I am available.
No doubt because God has a purpose for us even in our later seasons of life. Don't miss a chance to be a mentor.
What makes the season challenging are the winds of change. They are ever-present as I move from twelve hour work days to two day work weeks with the luxury of discretionary time. Additionally, I no longer punch a clock nor do I scramble to make time for administrative meetings and late night counseling sessions. I am, to a "frightening" degree, in control of my own time schedule.
It's "frightening" because I have an accelerated sense of upward accountability for the usage of my time. There was always that in pastoral ministry but there was also horizontal accountability as I thought about the expectations of my board and of a growing congregation.
Now there is for me a handful of counseling clients, eight grandchildren nearby, a local church and an adult class weekly teaching assignment, and my ongoing ministry "overseeing" a pastoral training institute in Haiti. It's enough.
But I have extra time. And I have an opportunity in these later years, given the presumption that age and experience produce some wisdom worth sharing, an opportunity to mentor. It was brought home to me today at a Bible Study led by my stepson who is a pastor. He was leading a discussion on REAL LIFE DISCIPLESHIP, written by Jim Putman, and discussing people "upstream" and downstream" in his sphere of influence. As a class participant I had completed the assignment asking us to do the same. As he shared his "upstream"--those to whom he looks for wisdom and counsel--my name was there.
I was startled. I had listed his name, given our weekly family and church interaction, as in my "upstream". We laughed about it later.
I love mentoring. It isn't that I have it all figured out. But I have learned some things--many of them through the rigors of personal experience--that are worth sharing with others, if for no other reason than to help theme escape some of the painful learning process to which most of us fall prey.
In the last few weeks I've mentored someone who is recovering from painful experiences in church leadership; another has been talking to me about a ministry idea and we have rehearsed some of the "pro's" and con's". Ina ll of these situations, and more, I am smiling at the memory of lessons learned and the opportunity to share them with others who come to me...probably because I am old. Probably because I am available.
No doubt because God has a purpose for us even in our later seasons of life. Don't miss a chance to be a mentor.
Thursday, January 16, 2014
UPDATE ON SEMINAR--COMMITMENT: THE VOW FACTOR IN MARRIAGE
The first week of the marriage seminar on Commitment took place on Sunday, January 12th at Grace Church in San Luis Obispo. The teaching sessions as well as the accompanying work sheets will be available on my website int he next several weeks. See www.Full-LifeCoaching.org.
Some of you have requested the seminar material and if you want to receive it by mail, please contact me at 636 Clarion Court, Suite 101, San Luis Obispo, CA 93401.
A helpful assignment for couples looking to strengthen their commitment to one another is to study Ephesians 4:25-32 and to do the following.
1. Individually identify the principles of communication that appear in this passage.
2. Underscore those that are difficult for you.
3. Share your results with one another and covenant together to pray for these specific areas of need.
This is a good place to start. Next week I will identify those principles that I seeand you can compare notes with what you found.
Some of you have requested the seminar material and if you want to receive it by mail, please contact me at 636 Clarion Court, Suite 101, San Luis Obispo, CA 93401.
A helpful assignment for couples looking to strengthen their commitment to one another is to study Ephesians 4:25-32 and to do the following.
1. Individually identify the principles of communication that appear in this passage.
2. Underscore those that are difficult for you.
3. Share your results with one another and covenant together to pray for these specific areas of need.
This is a good place to start. Next week I will identify those principles that I seeand you can compare notes with what you found.
Friday, January 3, 2014
New Year's "Drears"
Is "drears" a word? I'm uncertain but I'm confident the word communicates with some of you.
It is not about failed resolutions from last year or the futility of anticipated resolutions for the new year. It sometimes is about a gnawing feeling in the gut of our stomach that reverberates painfully with the frightening "here we go again".
But I am another year older now. And I will be sixty-six later this month (no card or gifts, please). And I should be wiser.
The good news is, I think I am. I recognize this reoccurring January visitor and the cold water it would throw on every determined effort I make to set meaningful goals for the new year.
Nonetheless, I am determined.
I've been journaling--no one gets to read my journals--and I am hopeful--again--that in spite of missing the mark in some critical areas last year, by God's grace I did learn some lessons that are an increasingly significant part of my life resources in coping with the challenges that are sure to come in 2014.
Left to my own resources, that gives me the "drears".
Looking to Him, it diminishes my fears.
Welcome, new year.
It is not about failed resolutions from last year or the futility of anticipated resolutions for the new year. It sometimes is about a gnawing feeling in the gut of our stomach that reverberates painfully with the frightening "here we go again".
But I am another year older now. And I will be sixty-six later this month (no card or gifts, please). And I should be wiser.
The good news is, I think I am. I recognize this reoccurring January visitor and the cold water it would throw on every determined effort I make to set meaningful goals for the new year.
Nonetheless, I am determined.
I've been journaling--no one gets to read my journals--and I am hopeful--again--that in spite of missing the mark in some critical areas last year, by God's grace I did learn some lessons that are an increasingly significant part of my life resources in coping with the challenges that are sure to come in 2014.
Left to my own resources, that gives me the "drears".
Looking to Him, it diminishes my fears.
Welcome, new year.
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Making marriage work
My recent counseling has involved young couples committed to building and preserving their marriages. It has prompted a class I will be teaching ten installments beginning Sunday, January 12th entitled, "COMMITMENT: The VOW Factor in Marriage". The focus of the source will be to understand potential sources of disruptive havoc to the maintenance of our marriage vows. I will post the topics on my website, www.full-lifecoaching.org, and make our materials available upon request.
Making marriage work is hard work. The vows we take with the "for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death parts us..." have been unwittingly replaces with "as long as we still love each other", or, "until it gets too hard".
A commitment for the new year in any marriage--healthy or not--to enrich the relationship we have by invoking the principles of God's Word--will be the theme of my study. I hope you'll join me.
Making marriage work is hard work. The vows we take with the "for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death parts us..." have been unwittingly replaces with "as long as we still love each other", or, "until it gets too hard".
A commitment for the new year in any marriage--healthy or not--to enrich the relationship we have by invoking the principles of God's Word--will be the theme of my study. I hope you'll join me.
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
A new grandbaby
Beverly and I leave this afternoon for a trip to Dallas and Nashville. Awaiting us in Dallas are JJ, Milla and Owen and in Nashville, the latest addition to our even dozen grandchildren--Vivienne Simone, born November 4th to Andrea and Stan.
We are living and loving the role of grandparenting--one defined differently, I am sure, by every grandparent. For us it includes on site opportunities in San Luis Obispo--ball games, dinners, babysitting, ball games, over-nighters, sitting in church together, ball games--you get the idea. Since we have eight of our twelve here it is a challenging but rewarding task to figure out how to maximize our involvement with each.
As we head east to spend time with our other four, we are excited about time to be with them. A ball game, church and a concert are already on the agenda, not to mention meals and football games, two Barrett specialties. Mostly, it is just the idea of being together, even though the time will pass quickly. With Andrea's recent "contribution" to the family it will be a special delight to see one month old Vivienne for the very first time! We are already thinking about how we can maximize our time in the new year with the Barrett families, several thousand miles away. It's a welcome challenge!
Grandchildren are a significant part of what motivated my retirement form full-time ministry. But I see them as a part of my new ministry--not that they are in any way affected by parental default ( all are great parents!)--but we can affirm what is already being intentionally put in place as we live and share life together.
If you're older like I am becoming, here's an area of life to embrace with excitement and enthusiasm. Love your grandchildren--they will thrive in that environment--and live, as you are able, your life with them as opportunities come--ball game, dinners, babysitting, church, over-nighters...you get the picture.
We are living and loving the role of grandparenting--one defined differently, I am sure, by every grandparent. For us it includes on site opportunities in San Luis Obispo--ball games, dinners, babysitting, ball games, over-nighters, sitting in church together, ball games--you get the idea. Since we have eight of our twelve here it is a challenging but rewarding task to figure out how to maximize our involvement with each.
As we head east to spend time with our other four, we are excited about time to be with them. A ball game, church and a concert are already on the agenda, not to mention meals and football games, two Barrett specialties. Mostly, it is just the idea of being together, even though the time will pass quickly. With Andrea's recent "contribution" to the family it will be a special delight to see one month old Vivienne for the very first time! We are already thinking about how we can maximize our time in the new year with the Barrett families, several thousand miles away. It's a welcome challenge!
Grandchildren are a significant part of what motivated my retirement form full-time ministry. But I see them as a part of my new ministry--not that they are in any way affected by parental default ( all are great parents!)--but we can affirm what is already being intentionally put in place as we live and share life together.
If you're older like I am becoming, here's an area of life to embrace with excitement and enthusiasm. Love your grandchildren--they will thrive in that environment--and live, as you are able, your life with them as opportunities come--ball game, dinners, babysitting, church, over-nighters...you get the picture.
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