"Fed Up" or Filled Up?

I will be presenting a seminar June 18 and July 16 for a local business to its forty-plus employees about discovering a full life, entitled "Fed Up" or Filled Up?.  This seminar will be video-taped and may be made available to you along with a notebook of accompanying exercises.

If you are interested, contact me at daleabarrett@gmail.com

Closing and opening

Transition moves relentlessly forward.

1.  My Sutter Creek office of Full-LifeCoaching closed several weeks ago with termination of my lease after  a year there.

2.  My new office will be located at Grace Fellowship Church where I am currently sharing space graciously made available to me for the next two months.

3.  I am relocating in August in San Luis Obispo and will be opening a counseling-coaching office there.

It's hard to say "good-bye" to my clients.  In some cases they are moving on and are finding new confidence in their walk with the Lord.  Some have inquired about my returning monthly or keeping in contact via Skype or telephone.

Keeping you in the loop...

On not seeing clearly...

Over the past six months I have delayed needed cataract surgery and the result has been reflected in my ability to read and write coherently.  A month ago I finally had my cataract removed and today the optometrist told me I no longer need glasses.  Needless to say, I am euphoric about this great news.  No longer will I have to spend hours trying to remember where I left them nor will I have to take them off and put them on again depending on my work environment.

What a  blessing it is to see clearly.  The fuzziness caused by a well-developed cataract had caused my vision to be blurred, made computer work agonizingly slow and turned the joy of reading into a burdensome task.  Even as I sit at my computer now I am thanking God for His divine healing.

Much of life can be spent living in a  fog.  Often, we know what we need to do to find focus and clarity, but we put it off and try to manage, operating at less than peak efficiency.  For me, the issue was economics and the allurement of my 65th birthday and the benefits of medicare meant I could have the surgery done for nothing.  I didn't want to pay the cost of the surgery and so I opted to live the last six months in a quagmire of frustration and inefficiency.  When I look back--and I can see it clearly now--I wish I had "bitten the bullet" and done the surgery, even at my own expense.  It would have been worth it to skip the fog and darkness.

What do you know to do that you are not doing, and what are you procrastinating  because you're simply not willing to pay what it costs?  You may find all kinds of self-justification in not moving forward now--"It will be easier later", or, "I can make this work for now even though it's not my best work".  In the end, the cost of not doing it now may be greater.

There are promises in God's Word about living in the moment. "God mercies are new every morning" , Give us our daily bread, and "Today is the day of salvation..."  are examples of God's available resources now.

You can choose to live in a fog, not seeing clearly, procrastinating what needs to be done.

Or, you can do the hard costly work now and enjoy the immediate benefits of God's promised provision...and a clear vision for what He can do now to bring clarity and focus to your life.

Planning...or not?

"The plans of man may fail but the purposes of God prevail"--that's "plastered" on the front of our church wall.  It was my idea to put those words there when I was pastoring to guide us in our ministry.

You would think I'd remember those words.

I guess I'd forgotten...but I have been reminded of them big time in the last few weeks.

I am a planner.  I am a detail guy.  I like to make lists and construct timelines.  I like to be in control.  There. I said it.

Nothing about retirement and transition has worked out the way I planned.  That is not to say, it hasn't gone well.  It is only to say my script needs to be trashed.

The details of what has happened are not important here.  But every financial plan, every housing plan, every work-related plan I have devised has been seriously revised.  Above all else, the whole timing sequence I imagined has been abandoned.  Even now, we are certain only of one thing.  We are uncertain.

Still, we are confident and, at least today, smiling.  God is accomplishing His purpose for us.  I alluded to this  potential reality in a conversation months ago with my wife when I said, having rehearsed my plans--"God may surprise us and do the whole thing differently."

He has.  He is.

We are surprised...but we are not disappointed.

God is faithful.

When relocating, remember...

I am no expert on the subject of relocation; in fact, every step of the process has been instructive for me.  I am learning as I go.  Here's a few observations about the process.

1.  It's hard to be doubly-focused--on what you are moving from and what you are moving towards.  Because both for us are good places to be, we are discovering the need to grieve what we are leaving behind and to focus on what lays ahead.  For example, we are leaving dear friends, a beautiful home and a wonderful church...but we are moving towards family, grandchildren...and the ocean!

2.  It's a challenge to get agreement from your friends and family.  Each one has a vested interest in you and an idea about what might be the best course to follow.  Listen to them--hear their wise counsel--but, in the end, you must ask, "What is best for us?" and "How is God leading us?"  Granted, there is an aire of subjectivity that cannot be ignored, but, truthfully, we want to follow where we sense God is leading.

3.  It's a nightmare to look at the whole picture at once; in fact, it can swallow you up with fear and anxiety.  Yes, a comprehensive view is important but a step-by-step approach makes the process less ominous.  For us, that translates today into this.  We have to sell our house--that's our primary concern. The rest of the issues--packing, garage sales, how to move our stuff, work parties, etc.--those we can address when the time comes.  

4.  It's important to stay on point.  "What's our objective?" "Why did we decide to do this in the first place?"  Sometimes we lose sight of that and overwhelmed by the details, we become inundated with the demands of the process, and forget what motivated us in the first place.  We want to be near some of our grandchildren and more free to visit the others--and we want discretionary time to serve the Lord in a variety of settings in this season of our life.  Hence, our relocation.

5.  It's invigorating to stop and give thanks.  God has been so faithful to us throughout our lives and when we remember that no obstacle before us seems insurmountable.  

If you're pondering relocation, or, like us, are in the process, remember these things that may help you, as they are helping us, walk through a  process that presents some unique challenges.

How we choose our heroes...

I have my favorite sports teams--SF Giants, LA Lakers, SF 49ers.  It's a bad day for me when they lose.

I have some sports' heroes" as well--Warren Spahn (I know, I'm old), Buster Posey, Joe Montana, Jerry Rice, Tiger Woods, Kobe Bryant...I could hear some of you gasping for breath as the list grew longer.

Last weekend Tiger Woods and Kobe Bryant--two of my sports' "heroes"--suffered devastating losses.  Tiger dropped his ball illegally following an errant a shot into the water at the Masters, and Kobe Bryant tore his achilles tendon en route to seeking to lead his team ti the playoffs.  Same day.

Tiger and Kobe are incredible competitors and highly-skilled athletes; in fact, they stand head and shoulders above their peers.  I love to watch them compete.  Beyond the athletic arena, however, they are a disappointment, both of them guilty of well-publicized acts of sexual indiscretion, a sanitized way of identifying their behavior towards women.

Still, I like to watch them. I keep hoping their character will match up with their athletic prowess.  Tiger missed an opportunity to withdraw from the Masters as an honorable man--he was allowed to continue over a technicality---and Kobe tweeted a reaction the early morning after his injury for the world to read that was derogatory and disturbing.  It would have been comforting to hear a monologue about what really matters in life.  Wistful thinking.

So much for my "heroes".

Real heroes have character that outshines their resume of accomplishment and repertoire of skills.  Jackie Robinson and Branch Rickey are two modern-day heroes.  The movie, 42, details three years of their lives during the mid-forties when Rickey determined to integrate professional baseball by signing the young black Robinson to a contract with the then Brooklyn Dodger organization.  The story of their painful journey and forged character in the heat of prejudicial public abuse is ennobling.

I will take men like Rickey and Robinson.  They are heroes for the right reasons.

Choose your "heroes" well.

Enjoying what you do...

Enjoyment seems an illusive state of mind; in fact, it seems almost an oxymoron when considered in the work environment.

In this season of semi-retirement where I have the luxury of some discretion in choosing what I do, I am finding true enjoyment in counseling and coaching.  These have been work-related responsibilities in my long history as a pastor but the context was different.  They were attached to my pastoral role and tended to be primarily crisis-oriented, squeezed into a very busy schedule.  It was typically the traditional "tyranny of the urgent" that set my counseling agenda.

It is different now.  My counseling and coaching is more measured, set in a context of long-term goals for the client, and measurable progress, hopefully, moving towards finding healing and wholeness.  My goal as a counselor-coach is not to elongate the process; rather, it is to wean the client from me and direct them towards the Word of God and their daily relationship with God as a source of continuing refuge and strength.

I am not a simpleton; I understand that my role as a listener and as a director--pointing the client to things they may not see clearly, and more often than not, reminding them of things they already know--can be a critical piece on the road to self-discovery and experiencing the fullness of life God intends.

Yesterday I met with three different clients and the testimonies they shared about how God is working in their lives made me smile within.  They all have continuing needs and ongoing work to do--as we all do--but today I felt true enjoyment in my work.