Getting unstuck

In a rut? Stuck? No forward progress?  Feel like you're in quicksand losing ground?

Summer awaits us...and even beckons us with the prospects of a vacation, blue skies, a trip to the ocean, an afternoon by a stream, a weekend with extended family...something other than the ordinary routine.  The anticipation of that can be exhilarating--pointing to an event or a series of events that potentially change what seems to be the perfunctory rhythm of life.

But there is reality awaiting us, when the summer is over, the vacation is spent, the family has said "good bye" until the next holiday weekend. 

It is back to work, back to school, back to the household regimen, back to the rut of predictability and boredom, if not sheer drudgery.

How do you change that?  What steps can you take tom transform the routine and predictable into something exciting and challenging?  Here's some things to consider.

Are you thankful? 
All too often what we have we take for granted, forgetting we are blessed to have good health, a job that pays the bills, a roof over our head, enough food to keep us dieting, a country where we are not worrying about our safety...and a host of other blessings not common in other parts of the world.

Are you intentional?
Do you focus on  each day as an opportunity to excel in what you do and do you seek to influence others around you for good, to keep yur eyes open for someone less fortunate than you?

Are you creative?
Have you considered improving your workplace, increasing your productivity, identifying a meaningful goal for each day on the job beyond the expected?

Are you positive?
Do you approach each new day with dread or do you see it as a new and fresh opportunity to invest your energy and ability in something or someone?

Are you accountable?
Have you enaged your spouse or a friend and said, "Here's what I am proposing to do.  Ask me at the end of the week how I did?"

Consider asking these questions of yourself each day and then measuring the quality and content of your life by how well you respond.

And see if you don't get unstuck--out of the rut of complacency and bordeom that are sure to bury you until the next vacation or sunny day.

Here comes summer...?!?!

Summer will be here in another month.  How do you feel about that?  It promotes a myriad of emtoions, I am discovering, as I talk to people.

Kids can't wait.  No more school.  No more homework (unless summer school is on the agenda).  The anticipation of sleeping in (if they're teens).  The excitement of a family vacation.

Parents can wait.  Children at home 24/7.  Issues about financing a family vacation.  If both parents work, thinking about child care or supervision while they're working.  New challenges.

This make for an interesting family dynamic--kids glad, parents sad--or, at the very least, looking for creative answers for the summer agenda. 

Summer can be a time of family reconnecting, but it will require intentional effort on everyone's part. Here's an opportunity to vacate the usual regimen of running around feverishly for school and after-school   activities--not drudgery but sometimes demanding--and scultpturing a plan for summer that allows everyone to take "time off" together and to maximize the opportunities of a reducded schedule (even if yours as parents is largely the same).

Here are some key words to think about...creatively, or, outside the box as you prepare for summer.

C-amp.  It's relatively inexpensive and a great opportunity for kids to be outside away from their IPhones and video games.  Tents and sleeping bags, fishing rods and family table games are basic components,
R-elatives.  It's fun to hook up with extended family. 
E-xchange.  Trade with another trustworthy famiily.  Take their kids for a weekend (I know, this is frightening) in exchange for taking yours (a romantic weekend awaits you).
A-sk.  Take the risk.  inquire about what the kids want to do.  Iit may surprise you that they are more content you expected to kick back and enjoy being home.  (Good luck with that one)
T-ask.  It's all right to assign responsibilities to your kids as a teaching and training opportunity.  Linking it to reward may be subtle "bribery" but it can produce desired results and promote character in the process.
I-nnovate.  Try something you've never done before.  Sleep overnight in the backyard.  Attend a flea market on Saturday morning. Get ice cream on the spur of the moment.  Spend the a day volunteering as a family for a needy cause.
V-BS.  Your local church will probably have a week-long summer program that will provide good principled teaching, fun and games...and you can either volunteer to help, or take a much-needed summer break.
E-scape.  All right.  Set aside at least one weekend where you ante up the dollars and get away by yourselves.  You'll need it!

Family valued

I was reminded on this Mother's Day of the importance of family.  In my busy schedule it is easy to succumb to the pressures of work and its demands.  I was jolted when my oldest son gently asked if I would make an attempt to be more connected with my grandson.  His other grandfather who lived nearby died suddenly a year ago.  He has missed him and since I live 2000 miles away we see my grandson twice a year...maybe.  He needs a grandpa.  I love him dearly so this is not a task.

But it is a necessary dicicpline.

Armed with this information--all which I already knew--I recommitted to this privileged task which means I have to be intentional.  We had contact in several ways over the weekend--on the phone, via e-mail and I sent a card with a small gift to say, "thinking about you".

My mother will be eighty-eight years old in July.  She lives 60 miles away and I am fortunate if I see her once a month.  On Mother's Day, freed from my normal church responsibilities, my wife and I joined her at her church--our first visit in three years since a new pastor arrived.  We sat together and I felt proud to sit in the same row with my godly mother, the spiritual matriarch of that small church.  We ate lunch together with my extended family and were delighted that the television we were blessed to give her was something she deeply appreciated.

It was a joy to write my daughters-in-law and daughters congratulatory Mother's Day greetings.  They are a special group and are wonderful mothers to our eleven grandchildren.  My wife was thrilled by cards (and gifts) from her sons and telephone calls from them at day's end.

I am grateful for my family.  I am determined anew that they will be a priority in my life--before my work and its demands.  How this fleshes out daily is a challenge for me admittedly, but in the realm of things that matter most to me, they are what I truly value.

Digging out...

After another short vacation--I've had more than my usual opportunities be away during this transitional year--what I dread most is digging out of my e-mails, mail, appointment calendar, contact list, and all that goes along with being a senior pastor, part-time counselor, Hospice chaplain and volunteer coordinator for TLCHaiti.

I am not trying ti impress you with all of the hats I currently wear, but to strike a point of identification with many of you who may face the same  pressures of trying to dig out of a mountain of tasks that seem at first glance overwhelming.

Here is what I am learning.

1.  I begin with prayer.  I acknowledge that I am not God (sometime I fancy myself as a cosmic counselor who can fix everyone, everything...I know, arrogant and foolish) and then I remind myself that I desperately need God if anything I am going to do will make any difference.

2.  I make lists.  Those lists contain categories that relate to my four positions and also include my household responsibilities, i.e. projects, chores, family events, etc.  usually, just composing the lists is overwhelming and I find myself usually having to add to them as the process unfolds.  I also have an appointment book with columns identifying the various areas of responsibility so I can coordinate my tasks (I have to write them down alongside each other or I double-schedule myself..."senior-itis").

3.  I decide what is most important (this is subject to internal "arm-wrestling" as I establish priorities) and then begin to add to my calendar what will be part of my week's schedule.  Some things get left off the list--yes, it's impossible to meet everyone's demands--and set for a later time with all the appropriate and courteous communication to cover my bases.

4.  I set boundaries (I here someone laughing in the background...really?).  I mark off time for myself--exercise, time with Beverly, study--or else the tyranny of the urgent will make a mockery of my schedule.

5.  I pray daily.  I ask God to help me enjoy the journey--to not be so focused on getting to the end of the week, the end of the list, the end of the task--that I miss the joy of the time spent doing the things to which he has called me.  I hope you, too, have a sense of calling in your work, whatever it may be, so that your tasks are ennobled by a sense of sustaining purpose in seeking to please God with the promise of a fulfilled life.

Even if you are busy digging out.

Affirmation and Its A-ffects

"Atta boy!" 

"Good job!"

"Thank you."

I've learned that a few well-placed words can go a long way towards building a business or growing an organization.  In the book, GOOD TO GREAT, the author suggests that the distinguishing factor of success is reflected in how well a leader serves his business or organization. 

As a pastor working with a small paid staff and a large number of faithful volunteers, I am constantly reminded of how important it is to encourage those who are working hard behind the scenes as well as those who others notice.  Every Sunday at Grace Fellowship--in addition to those who preach, teach and lead worship-- men park cars, couples greet, volunteers serve in the nursery, children's workers teach and take care of children, etc.  Additionally, there are those who fold bulletins, prepare coffee, bring refreshments, clean offices, care for the property, and generally "pick up" each week who are vital to the life of the church. 

I take time each week to send small post cards thanking those who have served faithfully,  This week there were notes for those who organized a talent show, helped orchestrate a banquet for our local pregnancy center, delievred meals to shut-ins, and led and served at an event encouraging purity for teenage girls.

Every week there are those to thank and those to encourage.

And every week new people are reached, new ministries are accomplished and new people are enlisted to share in the process.

It's the result of affirmation.  A few well-placed words.

I like how it a-ffects everything we do at Grace.