My recent counseling has involved young couples committed to building and preserving their marriages. It has prompted a class I will be teaching ten installments beginning Sunday, January 12th entitled, "COMMITMENT: The VOW Factor in Marriage". The focus of the source will be to understand potential sources of disruptive havoc to the maintenance of our marriage vows. I will post the topics on my website, www.full-lifecoaching.org, and make our materials available upon request.
Making marriage work is hard work. The vows we take with the "for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death parts us..." have been unwittingly replaces with "as long as we still love each other", or, "until it gets too hard".
A commitment for the new year in any marriage--healthy or not--to enrich the relationship we have by invoking the principles of God's Word--will be the theme of my study. I hope you'll join me.
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
A new grandbaby
Beverly and I leave this afternoon for a trip to Dallas and Nashville. Awaiting us in Dallas are JJ, Milla and Owen and in Nashville, the latest addition to our even dozen grandchildren--Vivienne Simone, born November 4th to Andrea and Stan.
We are living and loving the role of grandparenting--one defined differently, I am sure, by every grandparent. For us it includes on site opportunities in San Luis Obispo--ball games, dinners, babysitting, ball games, over-nighters, sitting in church together, ball games--you get the idea. Since we have eight of our twelve here it is a challenging but rewarding task to figure out how to maximize our involvement with each.
As we head east to spend time with our other four, we are excited about time to be with them. A ball game, church and a concert are already on the agenda, not to mention meals and football games, two Barrett specialties. Mostly, it is just the idea of being together, even though the time will pass quickly. With Andrea's recent "contribution" to the family it will be a special delight to see one month old Vivienne for the very first time! We are already thinking about how we can maximize our time in the new year with the Barrett families, several thousand miles away. It's a welcome challenge!
Grandchildren are a significant part of what motivated my retirement form full-time ministry. But I see them as a part of my new ministry--not that they are in any way affected by parental default ( all are great parents!)--but we can affirm what is already being intentionally put in place as we live and share life together.
If you're older like I am becoming, here's an area of life to embrace with excitement and enthusiasm. Love your grandchildren--they will thrive in that environment--and live, as you are able, your life with them as opportunities come--ball game, dinners, babysitting, church, over-nighters...you get the picture.
We are living and loving the role of grandparenting--one defined differently, I am sure, by every grandparent. For us it includes on site opportunities in San Luis Obispo--ball games, dinners, babysitting, ball games, over-nighters, sitting in church together, ball games--you get the idea. Since we have eight of our twelve here it is a challenging but rewarding task to figure out how to maximize our involvement with each.
As we head east to spend time with our other four, we are excited about time to be with them. A ball game, church and a concert are already on the agenda, not to mention meals and football games, two Barrett specialties. Mostly, it is just the idea of being together, even though the time will pass quickly. With Andrea's recent "contribution" to the family it will be a special delight to see one month old Vivienne for the very first time! We are already thinking about how we can maximize our time in the new year with the Barrett families, several thousand miles away. It's a welcome challenge!
Grandchildren are a significant part of what motivated my retirement form full-time ministry. But I see them as a part of my new ministry--not that they are in any way affected by parental default ( all are great parents!)--but we can affirm what is already being intentionally put in place as we live and share life together.
If you're older like I am becoming, here's an area of life to embrace with excitement and enthusiasm. Love your grandchildren--they will thrive in that environment--and live, as you are able, your life with them as opportunities come--ball game, dinners, babysitting, church, over-nighters...you get the picture.
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Jet Lag
I have been back in the United States from Haiti for almost 72 hours now...and I am still out of sync. Although it is only about nine hours of flight time from there to here...plus about five hours layover time, the fourteen hours of re-entry are always challenging for me.
I always wonder what it is about our physical time clock and/or personal chemistry that makes such transitions difficult. My stepson, Tim, just returned from India with a time warp twice mine, and he's still feeling the effects of his travel over a week later, and he is twenty years younger than me. So the immediate suspicion it may be my age may be discounted, even though the affects may be more intense for someone as old as me...
I am persuaded we are creatures of habit. We sleep better in our own beds, "thrive" on our regular diets, and are acclimated to our culture and pace of life. Transplanted into a different time frame and plunged into a different culture--with unfamiliar food and someone else's mattress, things are different. Not bad. Not necessarily painful. Just different.
Haiti is a vastly different culture with its tasty diet of rice and goat or chicken. and its hot and humid days and nights. The backdrop of its poverty-laden villages and open street markets hugging the main roads as well as its colorful tap taps in bumper-to-bumper traffic creates a vivid contrast to the life familiar to me. As I left the Port au Prince airport after eight days to head for home, I could feel myself
already lagging behind as I prepared myself for re-entry several hours later in the Fort Lauderdale airport before connecting stops in Dallas and Sacramento.
And I am still lagging. There are faded but inescapable images of what I felt and saw in Haiti. The "jet lag" is the tiredness, I suspect, of a very hectic schedule and a lack of normal sleep. But I am lagging behind for other reasons--I am not yet willing to jump back into the common and comfort of home; at some levels my emotions are still in Carrefourpoy, Cayes and Port au Prince where we taught and, at least for a few days, shared in a world vastly different than ours.
I always learn something there--this was my ninth trip. I learn to embrace what I have and to remember what is really important. And, as a result, I almost intentionally lag behind--not willing to rush back into my life of "more than enough", if not, "too much".
Jet lag. It is a real phenomenon.
But it's not all bad on re-entry to take advantage of it to reaffirm lessons learned while away from the normal habits and pace of life.
I always wonder what it is about our physical time clock and/or personal chemistry that makes such transitions difficult. My stepson, Tim, just returned from India with a time warp twice mine, and he's still feeling the effects of his travel over a week later, and he is twenty years younger than me. So the immediate suspicion it may be my age may be discounted, even though the affects may be more intense for someone as old as me...
I am persuaded we are creatures of habit. We sleep better in our own beds, "thrive" on our regular diets, and are acclimated to our culture and pace of life. Transplanted into a different time frame and plunged into a different culture--with unfamiliar food and someone else's mattress, things are different. Not bad. Not necessarily painful. Just different.
Haiti is a vastly different culture with its tasty diet of rice and goat or chicken. and its hot and humid days and nights. The backdrop of its poverty-laden villages and open street markets hugging the main roads as well as its colorful tap taps in bumper-to-bumper traffic creates a vivid contrast to the life familiar to me. As I left the Port au Prince airport after eight days to head for home, I could feel myself
already lagging behind as I prepared myself for re-entry several hours later in the Fort Lauderdale airport before connecting stops in Dallas and Sacramento.
And I am still lagging. There are faded but inescapable images of what I felt and saw in Haiti. The "jet lag" is the tiredness, I suspect, of a very hectic schedule and a lack of normal sleep. But I am lagging behind for other reasons--I am not yet willing to jump back into the common and comfort of home; at some levels my emotions are still in Carrefourpoy, Cayes and Port au Prince where we taught and, at least for a few days, shared in a world vastly different than ours.
I always learn something there--this was my ninth trip. I learn to embrace what I have and to remember what is really important. And, as a result, I almost intentionally lag behind--not willing to rush back into my life of "more than enough", if not, "too much".
Jet lag. It is a real phenomenon.
But it's not all bad on re-entry to take advantage of it to reaffirm lessons learned while away from the normal habits and pace of life.
Thursday, November 7, 2013
A heart for Haiti
I leave tomorrow for Haiti, my ninth trip in the last three years since God called me to go. I am excited about sharing the Word with pastors and especially seeking to encourage them.
God has given me a heart for Haiti. I would not have chosen Haiti as a place to go--but God impressed me in such a way that I can say with Paul, "Woe is me if I don't preach the gospel (in Haiti)..." On the eve of my departure I have been reviewing my teaching notes, checking my suitcase, visiting with my wife...and imagining the faces I will see for the next seven days. It is a privilege I cannot describe, a joy I can't deny.
What grabs your heart? What compels you to give your best, to exhaust your resources, to be willing to be uncomfortable, to empty yourself without consideration of cost or pain?
Find that thing and give yourself unstintingly to it. Discover a fulness in life that cannot be reproduced on any other level.
Have a heart...for something God births within you.
God has given me a heart for Haiti. I would not have chosen Haiti as a place to go--but God impressed me in such a way that I can say with Paul, "Woe is me if I don't preach the gospel (in Haiti)..." On the eve of my departure I have been reviewing my teaching notes, checking my suitcase, visiting with my wife...and imagining the faces I will see for the next seven days. It is a privilege I cannot describe, a joy I can't deny.
What grabs your heart? What compels you to give your best, to exhaust your resources, to be willing to be uncomfortable, to empty yourself without consideration of cost or pain?
Find that thing and give yourself unstintingly to it. Discover a fulness in life that cannot be reproduced on any other level.
Have a heart...for something God births within you.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
The legacy of divorce
Sunday our pastor preached a sermon on divorce and remarriage from Mark 10:1-12. Preaching expositorily through the book of Mark, he arrived at this point Sunday. This is the great thing about expositional teaching. We move with scripture and preach what is there when we get there.
I know this was not an easy topic for him; I am married to his mother who, along with me, experienced divorce. To say the least, we are sensitive about it and it has forever changed and marked our lives. It is the unavoidable legacy of divorce.
I am remarried and happily. I felt there was freedom and grace from scripture to move forward with my life; still I grieved my divorce and continue to grieve it. It has impacted all of us in our family and in my wife's family as well. We hate divorce. We are saddened that it touched our lives.
But I am grateful for grace--grace that allows us to begin anew, and to know God's forgiveness and healing. Twenty years later I remain committed to the permanence of marriage, the horror of divorce and the hard work that preserving and protecting a marriage requires. That is a part of the legacy of divorce.
I am grateful for a stepson who teaches the Word clearly, and without compromise. These may not be welcome words for a "casual divorce" culture--within and outside the church--but it is the unchanging Word of God. It is written, I believe, to save us from the painful legacy of divorce.
I know this was not an easy topic for him; I am married to his mother who, along with me, experienced divorce. To say the least, we are sensitive about it and it has forever changed and marked our lives. It is the unavoidable legacy of divorce.
I am remarried and happily. I felt there was freedom and grace from scripture to move forward with my life; still I grieved my divorce and continue to grieve it. It has impacted all of us in our family and in my wife's family as well. We hate divorce. We are saddened that it touched our lives.
But I am grateful for grace--grace that allows us to begin anew, and to know God's forgiveness and healing. Twenty years later I remain committed to the permanence of marriage, the horror of divorce and the hard work that preserving and protecting a marriage requires. That is a part of the legacy of divorce.
I am grateful for a stepson who teaches the Word clearly, and without compromise. These may not be welcome words for a "casual divorce" culture--within and outside the church--but it is the unchanging Word of God. It is written, I believe, to save us from the painful legacy of divorce.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Communication...more than talking...more than listening
It would be hard to write anything new about communication. But it can't hurt to revisit some things that we know are true but we easily forget.
Communication is more than talking. Just "unloading" or "getting something off your chest" does not signal you have communicated. Communication implies that what you have said has been heard, understood, and confirming feedback has taken place.
Communication is more than listening. "Nodding your head" or "being silent", though helpful to facilitating communication, does not indicate communication has taken place. In fact, if there is no verbal response, the other party may feel ignored or diminished in his attempt to communicate.
Recently I had a great time of communication with my wife. Here are some observations about the process.
1. We weren't on the clock.
2. We both were feeling some anxiety.
3. We both listened.
4. We both shared our hearts.
5. We reached some consensus, after responding to one another, about how to move forward (and, I think, we both felt better).
It wasn't magical. In fact, some of it was painful. But we were committed to the process of talking, listening and communicating. Questions like this help.
"Did I make sense?" "I think I heard you say..." "I'm sorry that's what you heard; how can I say it differently?" "Let me try again." "I'm sorry."
Here's a scriptural guideline for this kind of communication. "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths but only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen..." Ephesians 4:29.
"I told her what I thought!" "I didn't respond when she was talking to me!" These statements are not reflective of communication.
The next time you have one of those important conversations--think about how you say what you want to say with a calculated effort to express it in such a way that it will be received with optimum value. And listen--not interrupting or preparing a response--but with a mindset to truly hear what is being said.
You're not done. Offer feedback to each other and don't leave the table without a commitment to act on what you've heard. That will signal effective communication...especially if you follow-through...
Communication is more than talking. Just "unloading" or "getting something off your chest" does not signal you have communicated. Communication implies that what you have said has been heard, understood, and confirming feedback has taken place.
Communication is more than listening. "Nodding your head" or "being silent", though helpful to facilitating communication, does not indicate communication has taken place. In fact, if there is no verbal response, the other party may feel ignored or diminished in his attempt to communicate.
Recently I had a great time of communication with my wife. Here are some observations about the process.
1. We weren't on the clock.
2. We both were feeling some anxiety.
3. We both listened.
4. We both shared our hearts.
5. We reached some consensus, after responding to one another, about how to move forward (and, I think, we both felt better).
It wasn't magical. In fact, some of it was painful. But we were committed to the process of talking, listening and communicating. Questions like this help.
"Did I make sense?" "I think I heard you say..." "I'm sorry that's what you heard; how can I say it differently?" "Let me try again." "I'm sorry."
Here's a scriptural guideline for this kind of communication. "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths but only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen..." Ephesians 4:29.
"I told her what I thought!" "I didn't respond when she was talking to me!" These statements are not reflective of communication.
The next time you have one of those important conversations--think about how you say what you want to say with a calculated effort to express it in such a way that it will be received with optimum value. And listen--not interrupting or preparing a response--but with a mindset to truly hear what is being said.
You're not done. Offer feedback to each other and don't leave the table without a commitment to act on what you've heard. That will signal effective communication...especially if you follow-through...
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
stalked by disappointment
Do you ever feel you are being stalked by disappointment?
I know. That sounds a little bit like a martyr, or, someone with a persecution complex. Still, there are moments when I have felt like disappointment is lurking behind every bush of opportunity.
Recently I had an invitation to talk with someone about a job opportunity right down my alley of interest. As we visited I became more and more excited about the potential of working, though only part-time, in this environment of mutual passion. Unfortunately, in the course of our conversation a "detail" was shared that made me realize it probably was not going to happen. I was disappointed.
A week later, I am still disappointed. God had seemed to be so present in all the details leading up to the meeting, and even in the content of our conversation together. In the end--at least to this point--it has not proven to be what I desired or hoped for.
From the divine perspective, I've comforted myself by thinking about what God may have saved me from, and about what really wasn't so great about this opportunity. It has provided some passing comfort and I have managed to assuage some of my residual feelings of disappointment.
Some reluctant reflections on what I am learning...
1. Disappointment comes from unrealistic expectations. I did not have the information I needed to have been appropriately prepared for the potential outcome.
2. Disappointment carries an emotional component. It is compounded by an ungodly sense of desperation. I am not desperate but I treated this as if it were the end-all opportunity without which I would be destitute and "on the streets". Not even close.
3. Disappointment craves feeding. It wants to revisit the details, rehearse the factors that pointed to a different outcome, and get stuck in self-pity. I am purposely "fasting" today--determined not to feed my disappointment nor to linger in the valley of despond. God has something better for me, even if it means this door is permanently closed.
I know. That sounds a little bit like a martyr, or, someone with a persecution complex. Still, there are moments when I have felt like disappointment is lurking behind every bush of opportunity.
Recently I had an invitation to talk with someone about a job opportunity right down my alley of interest. As we visited I became more and more excited about the potential of working, though only part-time, in this environment of mutual passion. Unfortunately, in the course of our conversation a "detail" was shared that made me realize it probably was not going to happen. I was disappointed.
A week later, I am still disappointed. God had seemed to be so present in all the details leading up to the meeting, and even in the content of our conversation together. In the end--at least to this point--it has not proven to be what I desired or hoped for.
From the divine perspective, I've comforted myself by thinking about what God may have saved me from, and about what really wasn't so great about this opportunity. It has provided some passing comfort and I have managed to assuage some of my residual feelings of disappointment.
Some reluctant reflections on what I am learning...
1. Disappointment comes from unrealistic expectations. I did not have the information I needed to have been appropriately prepared for the potential outcome.
2. Disappointment carries an emotional component. It is compounded by an ungodly sense of desperation. I am not desperate but I treated this as if it were the end-all opportunity without which I would be destitute and "on the streets". Not even close.
3. Disappointment craves feeding. It wants to revisit the details, rehearse the factors that pointed to a different outcome, and get stuck in self-pity. I am purposely "fasting" today--determined not to feed my disappointment nor to linger in the valley of despond. God has something better for me, even if it means this door is permanently closed.
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Bad news, really good news
It seems as if Hebrews 4:12-16 has a "bad news, good news" motif. At least it does for me.
The "bad news"...
1. The Word of God, sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrates our lives as believers.
2. It judges the "thoughts and attitudes of the heart".
3. It exposes us to God "to whom we must give account".
If you stop reading there, it sound pretty scary. When we view our lives under the spotlight of the Word, we realize how far short we fall in our desire to live perfectly for Christ. It seems like a futile pursuit, and the devil can cause us to pitch a tent here in this hopeless terrain.
But here's the really good news...
1. We have a high priest who has gone before us--Jesus, God's Son.
2. We should, then, hold firmly to our faith...why?
3. Jesus sympathizes with out our weakness; having been tempted--but without sin--He is our perfect way to access God.
4. We can be confident is coming to the "throne of grace" (how inviting is that!) knowing we will "receive mercy" and "find grace to help us in our time of need".
That is really good news! As I read the Word it teaches, rebukes, corrects, and trains me (II Timothy 3:16,17) so that I--a man desirous of being a "man of God", may be "thoroughly equipped for every good work". I fall short of this goal daily, but daily I come to His throne, and as the recipient of His mercy and grace, purpose to live for Him and for His glory.
The "bad news"...
1. The Word of God, sharper than any two-edged sword, penetrates our lives as believers.
2. It judges the "thoughts and attitudes of the heart".
3. It exposes us to God "to whom we must give account".
If you stop reading there, it sound pretty scary. When we view our lives under the spotlight of the Word, we realize how far short we fall in our desire to live perfectly for Christ. It seems like a futile pursuit, and the devil can cause us to pitch a tent here in this hopeless terrain.
But here's the really good news...
1. We have a high priest who has gone before us--Jesus, God's Son.
2. We should, then, hold firmly to our faith...why?
3. Jesus sympathizes with out our weakness; having been tempted--but without sin--He is our perfect way to access God.
4. We can be confident is coming to the "throne of grace" (how inviting is that!) knowing we will "receive mercy" and "find grace to help us in our time of need".
That is really good news! As I read the Word it teaches, rebukes, corrects, and trains me (II Timothy 3:16,17) so that I--a man desirous of being a "man of God", may be "thoroughly equipped for every good work". I fall short of this goal daily, but daily I come to His throne, and as the recipient of His mercy and grace, purpose to live for Him and for His glory.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Making sense of terror
The recent tragedy at the Navy ship yard in Washington DC--another in a string of senseless massacres--is potentially terrorizing. How do we send our children out into a world so ransacked with sin and anger and volatility? Do we need to carry guns to protect ourselves? Do we pull into our private--seemingly safe world--and limit our exposure to the real world around us? It is hard not to live in fear.
Fear has torment. Fear paralyzes. Fear is from the enemy. Paul wrote his protege, young Timothy who was struggling with fear, "God has not given us the spirit of fear (timidity) but a spirit of power and of love and of self-discipline." What do we do with that statement?
1. Fear is the enemy's tool to diminish our productivity and to dampen our enthusiasm for the pursuit of a purposeful full life.
2. Fear is NOT from God; therefore, we know it is from the enemy whose declared purpose is to destroy us for he goes about "like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour."
3. What God has given us in place of fear is...
"a spirit of love"--our love for God, and the remembrance of His love for us reminds us of His promised care and sovereign oversight of our lives.
"a spirit of power"--our link to God as His children indwelt by the Holy Spirit results in a confidence in His ability to sustain us and protect us.
"a spirit of self-discipline"--our life in God is one of presenting ourselves to Him daily, resting in the knowledge of what we intentionally affirm to be true in His Word-and not succumbing to the spirit of the world that would depress us.
We have not seen the last tragedy or act of terrorism in our lifetime; as long as sin reigns in men's lives it will be our daily fare. We are drawn by our love for Christ--a love that "casts out fear"--to a deeper relationship of trust and confidence in Him.
Cling to Him today..."casting your cares upon Him for He cares for you..."
Fear has torment. Fear paralyzes. Fear is from the enemy. Paul wrote his protege, young Timothy who was struggling with fear, "God has not given us the spirit of fear (timidity) but a spirit of power and of love and of self-discipline." What do we do with that statement?
1. Fear is the enemy's tool to diminish our productivity and to dampen our enthusiasm for the pursuit of a purposeful full life.
2. Fear is NOT from God; therefore, we know it is from the enemy whose declared purpose is to destroy us for he goes about "like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour."
3. What God has given us in place of fear is...
"a spirit of love"--our love for God, and the remembrance of His love for us reminds us of His promised care and sovereign oversight of our lives.
"a spirit of power"--our link to God as His children indwelt by the Holy Spirit results in a confidence in His ability to sustain us and protect us.
"a spirit of self-discipline"--our life in God is one of presenting ourselves to Him daily, resting in the knowledge of what we intentionally affirm to be true in His Word-and not succumbing to the spirit of the world that would depress us.
We have not seen the last tragedy or act of terrorism in our lifetime; as long as sin reigns in men's lives it will be our daily fare. We are drawn by our love for Christ--a love that "casts out fear"--to a deeper relationship of trust and confidence in Him.
Cling to Him today..."casting your cares upon Him for He cares for you..."
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
"There's no place like home..."
It's been unclear in this time of transition where "home" actually is. "Home is where the heart is", an oft-quoted proverb, suggests that where your affections and deepest connections are made is where home is. In these last six weeks as I have lived in my new "house", I've mused about where "home" really is.
When we left for Sutter Creek last Thursday for five days of multiple responsibilities--a funeral, a seminar, counseling, dental work--I said a few times, "We are going home", almost without thinking. In that subconscious expression I was responding to the seventeen years we had lived there, the multitude of friendships we had developed and the poignant memories of good times.
We had a great time in Amador County, visiting and sharing meals with friends, driving through familiar country that we had navigated many times before. But, alas, I discovered it was no longer"home" for too much had changed about my life there...and here.
The place where I now go to church is in San Luis Obispo. The place where I have my office is in San Luis Obispo. The place where I shop, where I sleep, where I run on the beach, where I bike, where I eat, where I see my family...all are in San Luis Obispo County, three hundred miles from the place I used to call "home".
Bev and I left Jackson and drove to my mom's house in Stockton early Tuesday morning before heading south to Arroyo Grande. I grew up in Stockton, but as wonderful as it is to spend time with mom there, it is no longer "home". As we said good-bye to mom and my sister, Diane, and climbed into our Yukon, I turned to Bev and said, "We are going home".
"There's no place like home..."
When we left for Sutter Creek last Thursday for five days of multiple responsibilities--a funeral, a seminar, counseling, dental work--I said a few times, "We are going home", almost without thinking. In that subconscious expression I was responding to the seventeen years we had lived there, the multitude of friendships we had developed and the poignant memories of good times.
We had a great time in Amador County, visiting and sharing meals with friends, driving through familiar country that we had navigated many times before. But, alas, I discovered it was no longer"home" for too much had changed about my life there...and here.
The place where I now go to church is in San Luis Obispo. The place where I have my office is in San Luis Obispo. The place where I shop, where I sleep, where I run on the beach, where I bike, where I eat, where I see my family...all are in San Luis Obispo County, three hundred miles from the place I used to call "home".
Bev and I left Jackson and drove to my mom's house in Stockton early Tuesday morning before heading south to Arroyo Grande. I grew up in Stockton, but as wonderful as it is to spend time with mom there, it is no longer "home". As we said good-bye to mom and my sister, Diane, and climbed into our Yukon, I turned to Bev and said, "We are going home".
"There's no place like home..."
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
The suicide epidemic
Thirty per cent more baby boomers committed suicide over the last ten years than those the same age a decade before.
More teenagers die from suicide than from automobile accidents.
Staggering statistics that can be added to others heralding the gruesome truth that suicide is becoming an ever-increasing "way out" and "escape" from the rigors of life.
WHY?
Many reasons are suggested by the professionals--economic woes, joblessness, increased use of opiates, gender identity issues, the collapse of the traditional family unit, etc.
When Jesus said that His purpose was to bring us "abundant life" in John 10:10, many contemporary "teachers" chose to use that idea as a platform for what has been called the "health and wealth" gospel, i.e. "God wants you rich", "Christians should never be sick", etc. Apart from the fact that this flies in the face of scripture, and that such a message would not play well in third world countries where disease and poverty abound, the challenge, then, is to understand what an "abundant" and "full life" looks like.
A "full life" is understanding who I am and whose I am. When I discover that I am God's workmanship (Ephesians 2:10) created by Him with a unique place and purpose, and pursue that relationship with Him (we know that He first pursues us with His love) and discover my purpose in Him--then I can begin to experience true fullness in my life as I follow Christ.
It's not easy. This is not a ticket to a comfortable life nor is it the promise of problem-free living. What it does give me is a prescription for life--how to live it rightly and how to build meaningful relationships that are supporting and sustaining.
I firmly believe that if we understood this, and the significance of Philippians 4:6-8 where we are encouraged to come to God with our problems in prayer with the promise, "...He will keep your hearts through Christ Jesus...", or, as another commentator suggested, "keep you sane"--we would embrace life, not despair of it.
Too many are living in the grip of hopelessness and despair. This week I have the privilege of speaking to those who have lost friends and family members to the tragedy of suicide. My prayer is that I will be the voice of hope to those who have survived and are struggling to make sense of what happened.
Our hope is in the Lord.
More teenagers die from suicide than from automobile accidents.
Staggering statistics that can be added to others heralding the gruesome truth that suicide is becoming an ever-increasing "way out" and "escape" from the rigors of life.
WHY?
Many reasons are suggested by the professionals--economic woes, joblessness, increased use of opiates, gender identity issues, the collapse of the traditional family unit, etc.
When Jesus said that His purpose was to bring us "abundant life" in John 10:10, many contemporary "teachers" chose to use that idea as a platform for what has been called the "health and wealth" gospel, i.e. "God wants you rich", "Christians should never be sick", etc. Apart from the fact that this flies in the face of scripture, and that such a message would not play well in third world countries where disease and poverty abound, the challenge, then, is to understand what an "abundant" and "full life" looks like.
A "full life" is understanding who I am and whose I am. When I discover that I am God's workmanship (Ephesians 2:10) created by Him with a unique place and purpose, and pursue that relationship with Him (we know that He first pursues us with His love) and discover my purpose in Him--then I can begin to experience true fullness in my life as I follow Christ.
It's not easy. This is not a ticket to a comfortable life nor is it the promise of problem-free living. What it does give me is a prescription for life--how to live it rightly and how to build meaningful relationships that are supporting and sustaining.
I firmly believe that if we understood this, and the significance of Philippians 4:6-8 where we are encouraged to come to God with our problems in prayer with the promise, "...He will keep your hearts through Christ Jesus...", or, as another commentator suggested, "keep you sane"--we would embrace life, not despair of it.
Too many are living in the grip of hopelessness and despair. This week I have the privilege of speaking to those who have lost friends and family members to the tragedy of suicide. My prayer is that I will be the voice of hope to those who have survived and are struggling to make sense of what happened.
Our hope is in the Lord.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
What defines me?
I have been doing some soul-searching in recent weeks, whether walking on the beach, sitting on my patio, or sometimes, in the early hours of the morning when I can't sleep. Here;'s the haunting question..."WHO AM I?"
I always defined that by what I did. I am a pastor. I am a Hospice chaplain. I'm a part-time missionary to Haiti. I'm a Christian counselor/coach, etc... There was always a list of things that I did that seemed to define who I was.
It's different these days. I am semi-retired with less responsibility and visibility--except for a sharpened look at myself--and I am not always pleased with what I see.
What defines me, I am remembering from what I've counseled others, is not what I do but who I am on the inside. It is not who I appear to be in public when I am demonstrating my best behavior but who I am in the private place when no one--but God--sees me.
Scripture reminds us that while man is looking at the outside, God is checking out the inside. And that can be scary to contemplate.
I've decided I really do know who I am. I am a redeemed sinner, a child of God, a growing believer in need of spiritual food and fellowship and a joint heir with Christ. That's a mouthful to contemplate but it is who I am, by God's grace.
How do you define yourself?
Join me in purposefully choosing not to recite what you do, but remembering who you are in Christ.
I always defined that by what I did. I am a pastor. I am a Hospice chaplain. I'm a part-time missionary to Haiti. I'm a Christian counselor/coach, etc... There was always a list of things that I did that seemed to define who I was.
It's different these days. I am semi-retired with less responsibility and visibility--except for a sharpened look at myself--and I am not always pleased with what I see.
What defines me, I am remembering from what I've counseled others, is not what I do but who I am on the inside. It is not who I appear to be in public when I am demonstrating my best behavior but who I am in the private place when no one--but God--sees me.
Scripture reminds us that while man is looking at the outside, God is checking out the inside. And that can be scary to contemplate.
I've decided I really do know who I am. I am a redeemed sinner, a child of God, a growing believer in need of spiritual food and fellowship and a joint heir with Christ. That's a mouthful to contemplate but it is who I am, by God's grace.
How do you define yourself?
Join me in purposefully choosing not to recite what you do, but remembering who you are in Christ.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
A new office, a new perspective
I can look out from my desk window and see the semi-industrial area around me, dotted with rows of dressy metal buildings with offices and businesses inside. It reminds me that I am no longer in the sleepy confines of Amador County. The locals here would argue, however, that this is paradise, a far cry from the bustling highways of Los Angeles three hours away.
It's a new perspective for me.
And I'm in a brand new office with an architect, a therapist, a driving instructor and a landscape material order business around me. An eclectic group.
I've been asking myself, "Am I a new me"? Everything about my life seems so different--no pastoral responsibility, living space reduced from 2200 square feet to 1200 square feet (three bathrooms to one), discretionary time, anonymity in a new community...?
Who am I really?
Here's what I am re-discovering about myself...
1. I cannot not work.
2. I cannot not serve God.
3. I cannot not be involved in ministry.
It's how God hard-wired me.
Here's to semi-retirement and the opportunity to reaffirm who I am..and get about the fulfilling pursuit of God's work here in San Luis Obispo County.
It's a new perspective for me.
And I'm in a brand new office with an architect, a therapist, a driving instructor and a landscape material order business around me. An eclectic group.
I've been asking myself, "Am I a new me"? Everything about my life seems so different--no pastoral responsibility, living space reduced from 2200 square feet to 1200 square feet (three bathrooms to one), discretionary time, anonymity in a new community...?
Who am I really?
Here's what I am re-discovering about myself...
1. I cannot not work.
2. I cannot not serve God.
3. I cannot not be involved in ministry.
It's how God hard-wired me.
Here's to semi-retirement and the opportunity to reaffirm who I am..and get about the fulfilling pursuit of God's work here in San Luis Obispo County.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Update on Full-LifeCoaching
I have arrived in Arroyo Grande where Beverly and I are establishing our "new life", near eight of our grandchildren...and the ocean.
Here is some pertinent updated information for our friends and clients.
1. I am doing Skype counseling an am available now for those out of the San Luis Obispo County area.
2. We are retaining the same cell phone contact number, 209-403-2296, and email address, daleabarrett@gmail.com.
3. My new office address is 636 Clarion Court, Suite 101, San Luis Obispo, 93401. I'll be moving into that office August 20th and available for appointments August 26th.
4. I am developing a new website that should be available in September, 2013. It is www.Full-LifeCoaching.org.
5. I'll be speaking at a Suicide Survivor's Seminar at the American Legion Hall in Jackson, September 7th from 9 a.m.-noon. I'll be joined by Liseanne Wick, Program Manager for Suicide Prevention and Crisis Services. The seminar is free and is directed towards those who have lost friends and love ones through suicide.
I hope to keep in contact with you and invite you to communicate with me as we get re-established in our new community.
Here is some pertinent updated information for our friends and clients.
1. I am doing Skype counseling an am available now for those out of the San Luis Obispo County area.
2. We are retaining the same cell phone contact number, 209-403-2296, and email address, daleabarrett@gmail.com.
3. My new office address is 636 Clarion Court, Suite 101, San Luis Obispo, 93401. I'll be moving into that office August 20th and available for appointments August 26th.
4. I am developing a new website that should be available in September, 2013. It is www.Full-LifeCoaching.org.
5. I'll be speaking at a Suicide Survivor's Seminar at the American Legion Hall in Jackson, September 7th from 9 a.m.-noon. I'll be joined by Liseanne Wick, Program Manager for Suicide Prevention and Crisis Services. The seminar is free and is directed towards those who have lost friends and love ones through suicide.
I hope to keep in contact with you and invite you to communicate with me as we get re-established in our new community.
Monday, June 17, 2013
"Fed Up" or Filled Up?
I will be presenting a seminar June 18 and July 16 for a local business to its forty-plus employees about discovering a full life, entitled "Fed Up" or Filled Up?. This seminar will be video-taped and may be made available to you along with a notebook of accompanying exercises.
If you are interested, contact me at daleabarrett@gmail.com
If you are interested, contact me at daleabarrett@gmail.com
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Closing and opening
Transition moves relentlessly forward.
1. My Sutter Creek office of Full-LifeCoaching closed several weeks ago with termination of my lease after a year there.
2. My new office will be located at Grace Fellowship Church where I am currently sharing space graciously made available to me for the next two months.
3. I am relocating in August in San Luis Obispo and will be opening a counseling-coaching office there.
It's hard to say "good-bye" to my clients. In some cases they are moving on and are finding new confidence in their walk with the Lord. Some have inquired about my returning monthly or keeping in contact via Skype or telephone.
Keeping you in the loop...
1. My Sutter Creek office of Full-LifeCoaching closed several weeks ago with termination of my lease after a year there.
2. My new office will be located at Grace Fellowship Church where I am currently sharing space graciously made available to me for the next two months.
3. I am relocating in August in San Luis Obispo and will be opening a counseling-coaching office there.
It's hard to say "good-bye" to my clients. In some cases they are moving on and are finding new confidence in their walk with the Lord. Some have inquired about my returning monthly or keeping in contact via Skype or telephone.
Keeping you in the loop...
Thursday, May 23, 2013
On not seeing clearly...
Over the past six months I have delayed needed cataract surgery and the result has been reflected in my ability to read and write coherently. A month ago I finally had my cataract removed and today the optometrist told me I no longer need glasses. Needless to say, I am euphoric about this great news. No longer will I have to spend hours trying to remember where I left them nor will I have to take them off and put them on again depending on my work environment.
What a blessing it is to see clearly. The fuzziness caused by a well-developed cataract had caused my vision to be blurred, made computer work agonizingly slow and turned the joy of reading into a burdensome task. Even as I sit at my computer now I am thanking God for His divine healing.
Much of life can be spent living in a fog. Often, we know what we need to do to find focus and clarity, but we put it off and try to manage, operating at less than peak efficiency. For me, the issue was economics and the allurement of my 65th birthday and the benefits of medicare meant I could have the surgery done for nothing. I didn't want to pay the cost of the surgery and so I opted to live the last six months in a quagmire of frustration and inefficiency. When I look back--and I can see it clearly now--I wish I had "bitten the bullet" and done the surgery, even at my own expense. It would have been worth it to skip the fog and darkness.
What do you know to do that you are not doing, and what are you procrastinating because you're simply not willing to pay what it costs? You may find all kinds of self-justification in not moving forward now--"It will be easier later", or, "I can make this work for now even though it's not my best work". In the end, the cost of not doing it now may be greater.
There are promises in God's Word about living in the moment. "God mercies are new every morning" , Give us our daily bread, and "Today is the day of salvation..." are examples of God's available resources now.
You can choose to live in a fog, not seeing clearly, procrastinating what needs to be done.
Or, you can do the hard costly work now and enjoy the immediate benefits of God's promised provision...and a clear vision for what He can do now to bring clarity and focus to your life.
What a blessing it is to see clearly. The fuzziness caused by a well-developed cataract had caused my vision to be blurred, made computer work agonizingly slow and turned the joy of reading into a burdensome task. Even as I sit at my computer now I am thanking God for His divine healing.
Much of life can be spent living in a fog. Often, we know what we need to do to find focus and clarity, but we put it off and try to manage, operating at less than peak efficiency. For me, the issue was economics and the allurement of my 65th birthday and the benefits of medicare meant I could have the surgery done for nothing. I didn't want to pay the cost of the surgery and so I opted to live the last six months in a quagmire of frustration and inefficiency. When I look back--and I can see it clearly now--I wish I had "bitten the bullet" and done the surgery, even at my own expense. It would have been worth it to skip the fog and darkness.
What do you know to do that you are not doing, and what are you procrastinating because you're simply not willing to pay what it costs? You may find all kinds of self-justification in not moving forward now--"It will be easier later", or, "I can make this work for now even though it's not my best work". In the end, the cost of not doing it now may be greater.
There are promises in God's Word about living in the moment. "God mercies are new every morning" , Give us our daily bread, and "Today is the day of salvation..." are examples of God's available resources now.
You can choose to live in a fog, not seeing clearly, procrastinating what needs to be done.
Or, you can do the hard costly work now and enjoy the immediate benefits of God's promised provision...and a clear vision for what He can do now to bring clarity and focus to your life.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Planning...or not?
"The plans of man may fail but the purposes of God prevail"--that's "plastered" on the front of our church wall. It was my idea to put those words there when I was pastoring to guide us in our ministry.
You would think I'd remember those words.
I guess I'd forgotten...but I have been reminded of them big time in the last few weeks.
I am a planner. I am a detail guy. I like to make lists and construct timelines. I like to be in control. There. I said it.
Nothing about retirement and transition has worked out the way I planned. That is not to say, it hasn't gone well. It is only to say my script needs to be trashed.
The details of what has happened are not important here. But every financial plan, every housing plan, every work-related plan I have devised has been seriously revised. Above all else, the whole timing sequence I imagined has been abandoned. Even now, we are certain only of one thing. We are uncertain.
Still, we are confident and, at least today, smiling. God is accomplishing His purpose for us. I alluded to this potential reality in a conversation months ago with my wife when I said, having rehearsed my plans--"God may surprise us and do the whole thing differently."
He has. He is.
We are surprised...but we are not disappointed.
God is faithful.
You would think I'd remember those words.
I guess I'd forgotten...but I have been reminded of them big time in the last few weeks.
I am a planner. I am a detail guy. I like to make lists and construct timelines. I like to be in control. There. I said it.
Nothing about retirement and transition has worked out the way I planned. That is not to say, it hasn't gone well. It is only to say my script needs to be trashed.
The details of what has happened are not important here. But every financial plan, every housing plan, every work-related plan I have devised has been seriously revised. Above all else, the whole timing sequence I imagined has been abandoned. Even now, we are certain only of one thing. We are uncertain.
Still, we are confident and, at least today, smiling. God is accomplishing His purpose for us. I alluded to this potential reality in a conversation months ago with my wife when I said, having rehearsed my plans--"God may surprise us and do the whole thing differently."
He has. He is.
We are surprised...but we are not disappointed.
God is faithful.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
When relocating, remember...
I am no expert on the subject of relocation; in fact, every step of the process has been instructive for me. I am learning as I go. Here's a few observations about the process.
1. It's hard to be doubly-focused--on what you are moving from and what you are moving towards. Because both for us are good places to be, we are discovering the need to grieve what we are leaving behind and to focus on what lays ahead. For example, we are leaving dear friends, a beautiful home and a wonderful church...but we are moving towards family, grandchildren...and the ocean!
2. It's a challenge to get agreement from your friends and family. Each one has a vested interest in you and an idea about what might be the best course to follow. Listen to them--hear their wise counsel--but, in the end, you must ask, "What is best for us?" and "How is God leading us?" Granted, there is an aire of subjectivity that cannot be ignored, but, truthfully, we want to follow where we sense God is leading.
3. It's a nightmare to look at the whole picture at once; in fact, it can swallow you up with fear and anxiety. Yes, a comprehensive view is important but a step-by-step approach makes the process less ominous. For us, that translates today into this. We have to sell our house--that's our primary concern. The rest of the issues--packing, garage sales, how to move our stuff, work parties, etc.--those we can address when the time comes.
4. It's important to stay on point. "What's our objective?" "Why did we decide to do this in the first place?" Sometimes we lose sight of that and overwhelmed by the details, we become inundated with the demands of the process, and forget what motivated us in the first place. We want to be near some of our grandchildren and more free to visit the others--and we want discretionary time to serve the Lord in a variety of settings in this season of our life. Hence, our relocation.
5. It's invigorating to stop and give thanks. God has been so faithful to us throughout our lives and when we remember that no obstacle before us seems insurmountable.
If you're pondering relocation, or, like us, are in the process, remember these things that may help you, as they are helping us, walk through a process that presents some unique challenges.
Monday, April 15, 2013
How we choose our heroes...
I have my favorite sports teams--SF Giants, LA Lakers, SF 49ers. It's a bad day for me when they lose.
I have some sports' heroes" as well--Warren Spahn (I know, I'm old), Buster Posey, Joe Montana, Jerry Rice, Tiger Woods, Kobe Bryant...I could hear some of you gasping for breath as the list grew longer.
Last weekend Tiger Woods and Kobe Bryant--two of my sports' "heroes"--suffered devastating losses. Tiger dropped his ball illegally following an errant a shot into the water at the Masters, and Kobe Bryant tore his achilles tendon en route to seeking to lead his team ti the playoffs. Same day.
Tiger and Kobe are incredible competitors and highly-skilled athletes; in fact, they stand head and shoulders above their peers. I love to watch them compete. Beyond the athletic arena, however, they are a disappointment, both of them guilty of well-publicized acts of sexual indiscretion, a sanitized way of identifying their behavior towards women.
Still, I like to watch them. I keep hoping their character will match up with their athletic prowess. Tiger missed an opportunity to withdraw from the Masters as an honorable man--he was allowed to continue over a technicality---and Kobe tweeted a reaction the early morning after his injury for the world to read that was derogatory and disturbing. It would have been comforting to hear a monologue about what really matters in life. Wistful thinking.
So much for my "heroes".
Real heroes have character that outshines their resume of accomplishment and repertoire of skills. Jackie Robinson and Branch Rickey are two modern-day heroes. The movie, 42, details three years of their lives during the mid-forties when Rickey determined to integrate professional baseball by signing the young black Robinson to a contract with the then Brooklyn Dodger organization. The story of their painful journey and forged character in the heat of prejudicial public abuse is ennobling.
I will take men like Rickey and Robinson. They are heroes for the right reasons.
Choose your "heroes" well.
I have some sports' heroes" as well--Warren Spahn (I know, I'm old), Buster Posey, Joe Montana, Jerry Rice, Tiger Woods, Kobe Bryant...I could hear some of you gasping for breath as the list grew longer.
Last weekend Tiger Woods and Kobe Bryant--two of my sports' "heroes"--suffered devastating losses. Tiger dropped his ball illegally following an errant a shot into the water at the Masters, and Kobe Bryant tore his achilles tendon en route to seeking to lead his team ti the playoffs. Same day.
Tiger and Kobe are incredible competitors and highly-skilled athletes; in fact, they stand head and shoulders above their peers. I love to watch them compete. Beyond the athletic arena, however, they are a disappointment, both of them guilty of well-publicized acts of sexual indiscretion, a sanitized way of identifying their behavior towards women.
Still, I like to watch them. I keep hoping their character will match up with their athletic prowess. Tiger missed an opportunity to withdraw from the Masters as an honorable man--he was allowed to continue over a technicality---and Kobe tweeted a reaction the early morning after his injury for the world to read that was derogatory and disturbing. It would have been comforting to hear a monologue about what really matters in life. Wistful thinking.
So much for my "heroes".
Real heroes have character that outshines their resume of accomplishment and repertoire of skills. Jackie Robinson and Branch Rickey are two modern-day heroes. The movie, 42, details three years of their lives during the mid-forties when Rickey determined to integrate professional baseball by signing the young black Robinson to a contract with the then Brooklyn Dodger organization. The story of their painful journey and forged character in the heat of prejudicial public abuse is ennobling.
I will take men like Rickey and Robinson. They are heroes for the right reasons.
Choose your "heroes" well.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Enjoying what you do...
Enjoyment seems an illusive state of mind; in fact, it seems almost an oxymoron when considered in the work environment.
In this season of semi-retirement where I have the luxury of some discretion in choosing what I do, I am finding true enjoyment in counseling and coaching. These have been work-related responsibilities in my long history as a pastor but the context was different. They were attached to my pastoral role and tended to be primarily crisis-oriented, squeezed into a very busy schedule. It was typically the traditional "tyranny of the urgent" that set my counseling agenda.
It is different now. My counseling and coaching is more measured, set in a context of long-term goals for the client, and measurable progress, hopefully, moving towards finding healing and wholeness. My goal as a counselor-coach is not to elongate the process; rather, it is to wean the client from me and direct them towards the Word of God and their daily relationship with God as a source of continuing refuge and strength.
I am not a simpleton; I understand that my role as a listener and as a director--pointing the client to things they may not see clearly, and more often than not, reminding them of things they already know--can be a critical piece on the road to self-discovery and experiencing the fullness of life God intends.
Yesterday I met with three different clients and the testimonies they shared about how God is working in their lives made me smile within. They all have continuing needs and ongoing work to do--as we all do--but today I felt true enjoyment in my work.
In this season of semi-retirement where I have the luxury of some discretion in choosing what I do, I am finding true enjoyment in counseling and coaching. These have been work-related responsibilities in my long history as a pastor but the context was different. They were attached to my pastoral role and tended to be primarily crisis-oriented, squeezed into a very busy schedule. It was typically the traditional "tyranny of the urgent" that set my counseling agenda.
It is different now. My counseling and coaching is more measured, set in a context of long-term goals for the client, and measurable progress, hopefully, moving towards finding healing and wholeness. My goal as a counselor-coach is not to elongate the process; rather, it is to wean the client from me and direct them towards the Word of God and their daily relationship with God as a source of continuing refuge and strength.
I am not a simpleton; I understand that my role as a listener and as a director--pointing the client to things they may not see clearly, and more often than not, reminding them of things they already know--can be a critical piece on the road to self-discovery and experiencing the fullness of life God intends.
Yesterday I met with three different clients and the testimonies they shared about how God is working in their lives made me smile within. They all have continuing needs and ongoing work to do--as we all do--but today I felt true enjoyment in my work.
Monday, March 4, 2013
A new season
Last week was my first real week of semi-retirement since I have been traveling the last few weeks. It was interesting to observe some inner struggles going on that I am guessing are typical of this kind of transition.
*I found myself falling into former patterns of behavior that were connected to my old job. I literally had to tell myself, "That is not your responsibility any more..."
*I spent a lot of time day-dreaming, unable to focus on my new responsibilities. I am now self-employed and responsible only to myself, a startling concept!
*I was lonely, not surrounded by the familiar faces of work. I am working alone, in between clients, so it is quiet and different than the setting I have worked for the last fifteen years.
None of these things were cause for panic or despair, but they presented some new challenges to me that will be important for this season of work.
1. I have new responsibilities and I need to embrace these.
2. I have new disciplines to establish to sharpen my focus.
3. I have a new environment in which to work and I exercising my creative juices will serve to enhance the setting in which I am working.
It is a new season of life and entering my second week I am reminded that we are always learners--if we choose to be--and that is the challenge to be faced and the opportunity to grow. I am sixty-five years old and the process continues. I welcome it.
Do you...?
*I found myself falling into former patterns of behavior that were connected to my old job. I literally had to tell myself, "That is not your responsibility any more..."
*I spent a lot of time day-dreaming, unable to focus on my new responsibilities. I am now self-employed and responsible only to myself, a startling concept!
*I was lonely, not surrounded by the familiar faces of work. I am working alone, in between clients, so it is quiet and different than the setting I have worked for the last fifteen years.
None of these things were cause for panic or despair, but they presented some new challenges to me that will be important for this season of work.
1. I have new responsibilities and I need to embrace these.
2. I have new disciplines to establish to sharpen my focus.
3. I have a new environment in which to work and I exercising my creative juices will serve to enhance the setting in which I am working.
It is a new season of life and entering my second week I am reminded that we are always learners--if we choose to be--and that is the challenge to be faced and the opportunity to grow. I am sixty-five years old and the process continues. I welcome it.
Do you...?
Monday, February 25, 2013
My current website is down for repairs and I am sorry for the inconvenience.
Meanwhile, my counseling hours have increased and I have several openings for life-coaching and counseling Tuesday through Thursday. . I can be contacted at daleabarrett@gmail.com or 209-403-2296.
Coaching and counseling are offered from a Christian biblical perspective. Sessions are fifty-five minutes in length and $85.00 per session. Counseling is done at my office located at 270 Hanford Street, Suite B in Sutter Creek, California.
Jesus said, "I have come that you might have life--life to the full..." John 10:10
Meanwhile, my counseling hours have increased and I have several openings for life-coaching and counseling Tuesday through Thursday. . I can be contacted at daleabarrett@gmail.com or 209-403-2296.
Coaching and counseling are offered from a Christian biblical perspective. Sessions are fifty-five minutes in length and $85.00 per session. Counseling is done at my office located at 270 Hanford Street, Suite B in Sutter Creek, California.
Jesus said, "I have come that you might have life--life to the full..." John 10:10
Monday, February 4, 2013
Forward to Fullness
I am now offically retired from my forty-five years as a pastor. To celebrate I am camped in my trailer at Pismo beach, enjoying the serenity of the ocean, and the rest that comes from separation and contemplation.
Here's what I am discovering in week one...
*I am tired...physically, but mostly emotionally.
*I am still connected to the regimen and routine of my old job.
*I am afraid. How will we make life work?
*I am in the Word--reaffirming the promises of God's Word that I have held out to so many for all of these past years.
*I am grateful for my wife, who is joining the advenure with me.
I am also reading the book, Seven, which presents a challenge to a more simple life. Today we meet with an architect about reshapg a small house on our son's property where we are considering relocation. I have been studying Hebrews 12 which reminds me of God's discipline upon the chidlren He loves. All of this for me is about learning to to with less of what I want and more of what He has in mind for me.
My focal point for life coaching is "Forward to Fullness", the steady pursuit of the fulfillment of God's plan and purpose for my life, "Finishing well" is my motivation.
Here's what I am discovering in week one...
*I am tired...physically, but mostly emotionally.
*I am still connected to the regimen and routine of my old job.
*I am afraid. How will we make life work?
*I am in the Word--reaffirming the promises of God's Word that I have held out to so many for all of these past years.
*I am grateful for my wife, who is joining the advenure with me.
I am also reading the book, Seven, which presents a challenge to a more simple life. Today we meet with an architect about reshapg a small house on our son's property where we are considering relocation. I have been studying Hebrews 12 which reminds me of God's discipline upon the chidlren He loves. All of this for me is about learning to to with less of what I want and more of what He has in mind for me.
My focal point for life coaching is "Forward to Fullness", the steady pursuit of the fulfillment of God's plan and purpose for my life, "Finishing well" is my motivation.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Relocating an office
I have officed at my church for fifteen years--fifteen years of books, files, pictures, Since I am retiring, it all has to be moved.
For the last week I have been sorting through 3000 books with most of my files awaiting my scrutiny. Since I will not be doing what I have been doing for forty-five years, I am trying to determine what books I need to hang on to, and what I can give away, what I can sell what I need to take to the local thrift shop or used book store. Money is not the object but a small return on a large investment would be an unexpected blessing.
A garage sale looms on the horizon--hopefully, people will come and feast on the books I have displayed by subject--and take them home and receive as much enjoyment from them as I did.
Filing is a whole other issue. Shredding personal files is a labor-intensive task--thank God for willing secretaries who have carried the load. I decided that most of my files have no real value to me so the garbage can is being stretched to its capacity. I have hardly made a dent. The task still awaits me. I need to determine what old study materials, marriage seminar notes, sermon outlines, etc. are worth preserving. This requires a discipline to cull though boxes and I am not sure I am up for that.
The pictures on the wall will remain, apart from one my grandmother painted when she was eighty years old and another purchased for me as an antique. The issue here is where will I hang these since we are down-sizing from 2200 to 1200 square feet. Another yet to be faced,
Relocating an office is a physical task but it also has an emotional piece as well. As I left today with my arms loaded with boxes of books and looked at my office for the last time, I felt some sadness. It has been a warm wonderful place to study, counsel, and share with others.
For the last week I have been sorting through 3000 books with most of my files awaiting my scrutiny. Since I will not be doing what I have been doing for forty-five years, I am trying to determine what books I need to hang on to, and what I can give away, what I can sell what I need to take to the local thrift shop or used book store. Money is not the object but a small return on a large investment would be an unexpected blessing.
A garage sale looms on the horizon--hopefully, people will come and feast on the books I have displayed by subject--and take them home and receive as much enjoyment from them as I did.
Filing is a whole other issue. Shredding personal files is a labor-intensive task--thank God for willing secretaries who have carried the load. I decided that most of my files have no real value to me so the garbage can is being stretched to its capacity. I have hardly made a dent. The task still awaits me. I need to determine what old study materials, marriage seminar notes, sermon outlines, etc. are worth preserving. This requires a discipline to cull though boxes and I am not sure I am up for that.
The pictures on the wall will remain, apart from one my grandmother painted when she was eighty years old and another purchased for me as an antique. The issue here is where will I hang these since we are down-sizing from 2200 to 1200 square feet. Another yet to be faced,
Relocating an office is a physical task but it also has an emotional piece as well. As I left today with my arms loaded with boxes of books and looked at my office for the last time, I felt some sadness. It has been a warm wonderful place to study, counsel, and share with others.
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