Advocating for myself is not one of my strengths.
I don't want you to assume an extraordinary sense of personal humility for me. On the contrary, I can advocate for myself pretty passionately...inwardly.
But I struggle with the legitimacy of doing that publicly, especially as a man imperfectly aspiring to be a servant of God in the pastoral ministry.
Now I am facing retirement, looking for new places of ministry and service. And wondering how much to advocate for myself.
There are several good friends of mine who actively and aggressively challenge me to not be reluctant about "selling myself" in asking for reimbursement and compensation--a difficult task for me. They have, in fact, advocated in my behalf--a humbling gift for which I am thankful.
I have a missionary friend who refuses to ask for himself, but is reluctantly willing to let me (or others) ask for him. I understand that in the context of my own current situation/. He points to Paul who never asked for himself but asked for others.
I like asking for others. One of the opportunities I have considered requires that I raise my own support--immediately subconsciously pre-empting that job from consideration given my mindset. My point of possible re-evaluation is that I would be raising funds for the ministry of which my compensation is a part.
A technicality?
Probably.
Here's the deal. In ministry, we testify that God has called us, and because of that we trust that He will provide for us. I firmly believe that and have sought to live with that in mind.
However, I am confident that even though God will provide it is important for me to step out and follow His leading, walk through the doors He may be opening, and be willing to identify the gifts He has given me, and when asked, share what I need to provide for my family.
I guess that's advocating for myself.
I've decided I can do that, while not compromising my confidence in God and with the certainty that He will meet my needs...as He always has!
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