It was one of those nights I fell right to sleep and awakened in the middle of the night to remain awake for several hours.
This is dangerous for me because my mind goes to work.
And I thought about dying. When would I die. How would I die. Would I suffer much, Who would be at my funeral. Who would be sad. Am I afraid. What if it were today. And all other kinds of related questions that are colored by three plus years with Hospice and watching people die.
As well as over five hundred funerals and in forty-five years as a pastor.
What keeps me awake at night isn't always reflective of what's happened during the day or even connected to anything going on in my life at the moment.
But I often have to find some way to disrupt the now stimulated thinking process that desperately needs to be abandoned for needed rest.
And so I affirmed my faith--critical to me since the fear of death would blow me away if I didn't believe in the hope of eternal life in Christ--and then literally refocused on the the things that give me peace--crashing waterfalls, crystal blue oceans, rushing rivers...and three hours later I was awake.
Mostly rested...and not afraid.
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