Summer will be here in another month. How do you feel about that? It promotes a myriad of emtoions, I am discovering, as I talk to people.
Kids can't wait. No more school. No more homework (unless summer school is on the agenda). The anticipation of sleeping in (if they're teens). The excitement of a family vacation.
Parents can wait. Children at home 24/7. Issues about financing a family vacation. If both parents work, thinking about child care or supervision while they're working. New challenges.
This make for an interesting family dynamic--kids glad, parents sad--or, at the very least, looking for creative answers for the summer agenda.
Summer can be a time of family reconnecting, but it will require intentional effort on everyone's part. Here's an opportunity to vacate the usual regimen of running around feverishly for school and after-school activities--not drudgery but sometimes demanding--and scultpturing a plan for summer that allows everyone to take "time off" together and to maximize the opportunities of a reducded schedule (even if yours as parents is largely the same).
Here are some key words to think about...creatively, or, outside the box as you prepare for summer.
C-amp. It's relatively inexpensive and a great opportunity for kids to be outside away from their IPhones and video games. Tents and sleeping bags, fishing rods and family table games are basic components,
R-elatives. It's fun to hook up with extended family.
E-xchange. Trade with another trustworthy famiily. Take their kids for a weekend (I know, this is frightening) in exchange for taking yours (a romantic weekend awaits you).
A-sk. Take the risk. inquire about what the kids want to do. Iit may surprise you that they are more content you expected to kick back and enjoy being home. (Good luck with that one)
T-ask. It's all right to assign responsibilities to your kids as a teaching and training opportunity. Linking it to reward may be subtle "bribery" but it can produce desired results and promote character in the process.
I-nnovate. Try something you've never done before. Sleep overnight in the backyard. Attend a flea market on Saturday morning. Get ice cream on the spur of the moment. Spend the a day volunteering as a family for a needy cause.
V-BS. Your local church will probably have a week-long summer program that will provide good principled teaching, fun and games...and you can either volunteer to help, or take a much-needed summer break.
E-scape. All right. Set aside at least one weekend where you ante up the dollars and get away by yourselves. You'll need it!
Monday, May 21, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
Family valued
I was reminded on this Mother's Day of the importance of family. In my busy schedule it is easy to succumb to the pressures of work and its demands. I was jolted when my oldest son gently asked if I would make an attempt to be more connected with my grandson. His other grandfather who lived nearby died suddenly a year ago. He has missed him and since I live 2000 miles away we see my grandson twice a year...maybe. He needs a grandpa. I love him dearly so this is not a task.
But it is a necessary dicicpline.
Armed with this information--all which I already knew--I recommitted to this privileged task which means I have to be intentional. We had contact in several ways over the weekend--on the phone, via e-mail and I sent a card with a small gift to say, "thinking about you".
My mother will be eighty-eight years old in July. She lives 60 miles away and I am fortunate if I see her once a month. On Mother's Day, freed from my normal church responsibilities, my wife and I joined her at her church--our first visit in three years since a new pastor arrived. We sat together and I felt proud to sit in the same row with my godly mother, the spiritual matriarch of that small church. We ate lunch together with my extended family and were delighted that the television we were blessed to give her was something she deeply appreciated.
It was a joy to write my daughters-in-law and daughters congratulatory Mother's Day greetings. They are a special group and are wonderful mothers to our eleven grandchildren. My wife was thrilled by cards (and gifts) from her sons and telephone calls from them at day's end.
I am grateful for my family. I am determined anew that they will be a priority in my life--before my work and its demands. How this fleshes out daily is a challenge for me admittedly, but in the realm of things that matter most to me, they are what I truly value.
But it is a necessary dicicpline.
Armed with this information--all which I already knew--I recommitted to this privileged task which means I have to be intentional. We had contact in several ways over the weekend--on the phone, via e-mail and I sent a card with a small gift to say, "thinking about you".
My mother will be eighty-eight years old in July. She lives 60 miles away and I am fortunate if I see her once a month. On Mother's Day, freed from my normal church responsibilities, my wife and I joined her at her church--our first visit in three years since a new pastor arrived. We sat together and I felt proud to sit in the same row with my godly mother, the spiritual matriarch of that small church. We ate lunch together with my extended family and were delighted that the television we were blessed to give her was something she deeply appreciated.
It was a joy to write my daughters-in-law and daughters congratulatory Mother's Day greetings. They are a special group and are wonderful mothers to our eleven grandchildren. My wife was thrilled by cards (and gifts) from her sons and telephone calls from them at day's end.
I am grateful for my family. I am determined anew that they will be a priority in my life--before my work and its demands. How this fleshes out daily is a challenge for me admittedly, but in the realm of things that matter most to me, they are what I truly value.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Digging out...
After another short vacation--I've had more than my usual opportunities be away during this transitional year--what I dread most is digging out of my e-mails, mail, appointment calendar, contact list, and all that goes along with being a senior pastor, part-time counselor, Hospice chaplain and volunteer coordinator for TLCHaiti.
I am not trying ti impress you with all of the hats I currently wear, but to strike a point of identification with many of you who may face the same pressures of trying to dig out of a mountain of tasks that seem at first glance overwhelming.
Here is what I am learning.
1. I begin with prayer. I acknowledge that I am not God (sometime I fancy myself as a cosmic counselor who can fix everyone, everything...I know, arrogant and foolish) and then I remind myself that I desperately need God if anything I am going to do will make any difference.
2. I make lists. Those lists contain categories that relate to my four positions and also include my household responsibilities, i.e. projects, chores, family events, etc. usually, just composing the lists is overwhelming and I find myself usually having to add to them as the process unfolds. I also have an appointment book with columns identifying the various areas of responsibility so I can coordinate my tasks (I have to write them down alongside each other or I double-schedule myself..."senior-itis").
3. I decide what is most important (this is subject to internal "arm-wrestling" as I establish priorities) and then begin to add to my calendar what will be part of my week's schedule. Some things get left off the list--yes, it's impossible to meet everyone's demands--and set for a later time with all the appropriate and courteous communication to cover my bases.
4. I set boundaries (I here someone laughing in the background...really?). I mark off time for myself--exercise, time with Beverly, study--or else the tyranny of the urgent will make a mockery of my schedule.
5. I pray daily. I ask God to help me enjoy the journey--to not be so focused on getting to the end of the week, the end of the list, the end of the task--that I miss the joy of the time spent doing the things to which he has called me. I hope you, too, have a sense of calling in your work, whatever it may be, so that your tasks are ennobled by a sense of sustaining purpose in seeking to please God with the promise of a fulfilled life.
Even if you are busy digging out.
I am not trying ti impress you with all of the hats I currently wear, but to strike a point of identification with many of you who may face the same pressures of trying to dig out of a mountain of tasks that seem at first glance overwhelming.
Here is what I am learning.
1. I begin with prayer. I acknowledge that I am not God (sometime I fancy myself as a cosmic counselor who can fix everyone, everything...I know, arrogant and foolish) and then I remind myself that I desperately need God if anything I am going to do will make any difference.
2. I make lists. Those lists contain categories that relate to my four positions and also include my household responsibilities, i.e. projects, chores, family events, etc. usually, just composing the lists is overwhelming and I find myself usually having to add to them as the process unfolds. I also have an appointment book with columns identifying the various areas of responsibility so I can coordinate my tasks (I have to write them down alongside each other or I double-schedule myself..."senior-itis").
3. I decide what is most important (this is subject to internal "arm-wrestling" as I establish priorities) and then begin to add to my calendar what will be part of my week's schedule. Some things get left off the list--yes, it's impossible to meet everyone's demands--and set for a later time with all the appropriate and courteous communication to cover my bases.
4. I set boundaries (I here someone laughing in the background...really?). I mark off time for myself--exercise, time with Beverly, study--or else the tyranny of the urgent will make a mockery of my schedule.
5. I pray daily. I ask God to help me enjoy the journey--to not be so focused on getting to the end of the week, the end of the list, the end of the task--that I miss the joy of the time spent doing the things to which he has called me. I hope you, too, have a sense of calling in your work, whatever it may be, so that your tasks are ennobled by a sense of sustaining purpose in seeking to please God with the promise of a fulfilled life.
Even if you are busy digging out.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Affirmation and Its A-ffects
"Atta boy!"
"Good job!"
"Thank you."
I've learned that a few well-placed words can go a long way towards building a business or growing an organization. In the book, GOOD TO GREAT, the author suggests that the distinguishing factor of success is reflected in how well a leader serves his business or organization.
As a pastor working with a small paid staff and a large number of faithful volunteers, I am constantly reminded of how important it is to encourage those who are working hard behind the scenes as well as those who others notice. Every Sunday at Grace Fellowship--in addition to those who preach, teach and lead worship-- men park cars, couples greet, volunteers serve in the nursery, children's workers teach and take care of children, etc. Additionally, there are those who fold bulletins, prepare coffee, bring refreshments, clean offices, care for the property, and generally "pick up" each week who are vital to the life of the church.
I take time each week to send small post cards thanking those who have served faithfully, This week there were notes for those who organized a talent show, helped orchestrate a banquet for our local pregnancy center, delievred meals to shut-ins, and led and served at an event encouraging purity for teenage girls.
Every week there are those to thank and those to encourage.
And every week new people are reached, new ministries are accomplished and new people are enlisted to share in the process.
It's the result of affirmation. A few well-placed words.
I like how it a-ffects everything we do at Grace.
"Good job!"
"Thank you."
I've learned that a few well-placed words can go a long way towards building a business or growing an organization. In the book, GOOD TO GREAT, the author suggests that the distinguishing factor of success is reflected in how well a leader serves his business or organization.
As a pastor working with a small paid staff and a large number of faithful volunteers, I am constantly reminded of how important it is to encourage those who are working hard behind the scenes as well as those who others notice. Every Sunday at Grace Fellowship--in addition to those who preach, teach and lead worship-- men park cars, couples greet, volunteers serve in the nursery, children's workers teach and take care of children, etc. Additionally, there are those who fold bulletins, prepare coffee, bring refreshments, clean offices, care for the property, and generally "pick up" each week who are vital to the life of the church.
I take time each week to send small post cards thanking those who have served faithfully, This week there were notes for those who organized a talent show, helped orchestrate a banquet for our local pregnancy center, delievred meals to shut-ins, and led and served at an event encouraging purity for teenage girls.
Every week there are those to thank and those to encourage.
And every week new people are reached, new ministries are accomplished and new people are enlisted to share in the process.
It's the result of affirmation. A few well-placed words.
I like how it a-ffects everything we do at Grace.
Monday, April 23, 2012
The Music fix
I am at my office today on my day off...what's wrong with that picture?
A morning of household chores, a short walk, and a cluttered mind...and so I am at my cousneling office doing some administrative work and seeking to clear my mind. Some time getting things down on paper or, at least written into the schedule, helps me.
In the quietness of my office, however, I felt almost haunted by my racing thoughts so I unleashed I-Tunes and am listening to Mozart. What a peaceful and restful space my office has suddenly become!
Even the exercise of jogging is sometimes disquieting for me...until I put on my earphones, turn on my I-Phone, and lose myself in my music. It mutes my heavy breathing (which can be annoying) and allows me to replace my thoughs with the elixir of music's melodic strains.
Life's demands cannot sometimes be avoided. Life's decibels are not easily drownded out.
If you're caught in that web of entanglement., try the music fix. Transform your troubled world into a paradise of peace.
Even if only for a few moments...
A morning of household chores, a short walk, and a cluttered mind...and so I am at my cousneling office doing some administrative work and seeking to clear my mind. Some time getting things down on paper or, at least written into the schedule, helps me.
In the quietness of my office, however, I felt almost haunted by my racing thoughts so I unleashed I-Tunes and am listening to Mozart. What a peaceful and restful space my office has suddenly become!
Even the exercise of jogging is sometimes disquieting for me...until I put on my earphones, turn on my I-Phone, and lose myself in my music. It mutes my heavy breathing (which can be annoying) and allows me to replace my thoughs with the elixir of music's melodic strains.
Life's demands cannot sometimes be avoided. Life's decibels are not easily drownded out.
If you're caught in that web of entanglement., try the music fix. Transform your troubled world into a paradise of peace.
Even if only for a few moments...
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
When I can't sleep...
It was one of those nights I fell right to sleep and awakened in the middle of the night to remain awake for several hours.
This is dangerous for me because my mind goes to work.
And I thought about dying. When would I die. How would I die. Would I suffer much, Who would be at my funeral. Who would be sad. Am I afraid. What if it were today. And all other kinds of related questions that are colored by three plus years with Hospice and watching people die.
As well as over five hundred funerals and in forty-five years as a pastor.
What keeps me awake at night isn't always reflective of what's happened during the day or even connected to anything going on in my life at the moment.
But I often have to find some way to disrupt the now stimulated thinking process that desperately needs to be abandoned for needed rest.
And so I affirmed my faith--critical to me since the fear of death would blow me away if I didn't believe in the hope of eternal life in Christ--and then literally refocused on the the things that give me peace--crashing waterfalls, crystal blue oceans, rushing rivers...and three hours later I was awake.
Mostly rested...and not afraid.
This is dangerous for me because my mind goes to work.
And I thought about dying. When would I die. How would I die. Would I suffer much, Who would be at my funeral. Who would be sad. Am I afraid. What if it were today. And all other kinds of related questions that are colored by three plus years with Hospice and watching people die.
As well as over five hundred funerals and in forty-five years as a pastor.
What keeps me awake at night isn't always reflective of what's happened during the day or even connected to anything going on in my life at the moment.
But I often have to find some way to disrupt the now stimulated thinking process that desperately needs to be abandoned for needed rest.
And so I affirmed my faith--critical to me since the fear of death would blow me away if I didn't believe in the hope of eternal life in Christ--and then literally refocused on the the things that give me peace--crashing waterfalls, crystal blue oceans, rushing rivers...and three hours later I was awake.
Mostly rested...and not afraid.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Breaking in new ground
I have recently been unofficially hired to assume a responsibility with a company that is expanding its work overseas. Because the actual affimration of the corporate board is not until mid-May, and my actual start date is not until February, 2013, it is an interesting challenge to assay my responsibilities for today.
Here's what I am learning about this waiting time and transition...
*I am moving deliberately, checking out every proposed step before actually taking it.
*I am reading diligently, researching the necessary data available that will enhance my work when I actually start.
*I am communciating daily (or, as often as needed), staying in the loop regarding what is to be my responsibility.
My goal is to be ready to run the moment my job actually starts. I am disciplined to not run ahead or assume another's responsibilities. I am being careful to be a good observer and a willing learner as I process the information that is being made available to me. And I am continually asking, "Is there anything you need from me now?", while at the same time affirming the thngs already in place.
Truth is, I will be breaking in new ground. But some preliminary work has already been done--marials written, decisions made, programs instituted. What's required of me is an apppropriate respect and a measured enthusiasm as I await my turn to do my job.
Can't wait! But I will.
How are you doing with your new opportunity?
Here's what I am learning about this waiting time and transition...
*I am moving deliberately, checking out every proposed step before actually taking it.
*I am reading diligently, researching the necessary data available that will enhance my work when I actually start.
*I am communciating daily (or, as often as needed), staying in the loop regarding what is to be my responsibility.
My goal is to be ready to run the moment my job actually starts. I am disciplined to not run ahead or assume another's responsibilities. I am being careful to be a good observer and a willing learner as I process the information that is being made available to me. And I am continually asking, "Is there anything you need from me now?", while at the same time affirming the thngs already in place.
Truth is, I will be breaking in new ground. But some preliminary work has already been done--marials written, decisions made, programs instituted. What's required of me is an apppropriate respect and a measured enthusiasm as I await my turn to do my job.
Can't wait! But I will.
How are you doing with your new opportunity?
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